Lame.  Offside front.  No swelling or heat.  Suspect he may have been kicked.  Yesterday we had a storm.  Very little rain but it came with a blast of cold wind which coincided with us calling the horses up for dinner.  They came roaring up, tails aloft, bucking and farting.  Pagan shot through the gate first.  Balthazar was clearly in second place with Dakota bringing up the rear.  Something happened at the gate for Dakota came through (he's  boss cocky and rules the other two with barrelling hind feet and bared teeth) but I didn't see it as I was behind the water tank.  Balthazar leapt and cavorted around the peach paddock before settling down to eat (we'd put out hay instead of a mixed feed).  Noticed then that he seemed to be moving a little unevenly.  Today very evidently lame.  He even had a little trouble standing for the farrier.  Trust that time, the great healer especially where horses are concerned, will tell.

Farrier comes tomorrow, two days short of 6 weeks between trims.  The difference is obvious between getting them trimmed every 4 weeks to six weeks.  Haven't ridden out because of not wanting to force the easy boots on. 
     So that meant we had another 20 minutes under saddle in the arena.  Too hot and humid to do more.  I don't think we need to make what should be fun miserable by persevering even under crummy conditions. 
     Again, Balthazar made it obvious that he knew what the pattern was during the weave.  Why do we insist on thinking animals can't.  Think, that is.  He needed very little direction to walk through the weave.  Was too hot to trot but I walked very fast so he did trot a little and still did it correctly.  At the end I am asking him to side pass (full pass) to the far side of the drum so we can start the weave again.  He 'got' that today too.  Much much better.  Ridden work was very good.  The weave, cantering all good.  What we worked on today was bending through the corner in the arena going to the right.  Getting that correct is important but what is more important is being able to ask him, to work on it without him getting all stressed and turning into Pretty Pony No One Home, or PPNOH for short.  We weren't perfect today but he was much better about accepting the question and not getting stressed.  If I don't ask we go through the corner like a banana bent the wrong way.  We need the curve of his body to follow the curve of the turn which means, at this point, that I have to ask a little with the inside rein. 
     It's nice to have a plan.  Suspect that if we can work on these small things, not only to improve them, but to improve the trust that being asked is okay, it will have brilliant repercussions through the rest of our relationship.  Hung out together afterwards, all very low key, familiar, NICE.

A few days ago, at the canter, Balthazar became this plunging leaping head tossing monster.  Our ground work had been fine, our ridden work, to that point, ordinary.  Well, on second thought, no it wasn't ordinary.  He'd reverted to Pretty Pose Pony at the trot because I'd asked too much.  We were practicing the weave and in hindsight I should've done much more mounted work at the walk before advancing to the trot.  Consequently he internalized that fear energy  and it busted out when we leapt into canter. 
      I'd been a bit blase about our cantering.  It was getting more and more 'old hat',  This was a blow.  I was never in any danger of coming off but that doesn't stop the adrenalin from flowing and the heart from pounding.  At 57 I don't bounce and I definitely don't want to hit the ground. 
      Today we spent 15 minutes or so on ground work.  He is improving all the time with full pass on the fence and off.  Not perfect by any means but I am asking for more and more importantly waiting for him to deliver.  It's hard to remember everything sometimes, to form good habits about using the phases, to drop back to one if I've had a reaction at 4 or to go to 4 rather than idling at one while he daydreams of  lush paddocks and I lose focus. 
     The ridden work was great.  Cantering fine.  Overfaced him and asked for a canter depart from the walk which he didn't do but he didn't get upset because of being asked either.  The weave at the trot was excellent.  We're getting it done, except for the circle to the right at the last barrel, with weight and body position alone.  If I do use the reins it's very quick and quiet.  He has trouble bending to the right, as usual, so our circles to the right tend to be somewhat wonky.  One of the surprising things is his taking the correct lead almost every time.  Used to have a terrible time with that now he just takes it.
    Made certain that we did the weave at the walk mounted and unmounted, quite a few times before attempting at the trot.  On the ground he was okay at the trot.  Am trying to go to the end of the 12 line for it but not quite there yet.  He is understanding what is required.  I can see him doing the weave, thinking for himself, not every time but sometimes.  Good thing.
     Out for a pick afterwards.  Yesterday found him in the yards at 3pm decided to throw a halter on him and take him up the road.  I like spending time with him with no expectations.  We had a little adventure by scrambling down the bank to the (dry) creek.  Had to maneuver a little bit to reverse out as we eventually couldn't go any further forward.  He was good.  Time spent like that is gold.

Although I haven't written in over two weeks, I have ridden Balthazar.  Granted until today I haven't done anything except take him out for pick since 29 November when I took him up the road in his new boot and didn't have to get off once to adjust it!
       Motivation melts in the heat.  Today 36 celcius, tomorrow 41 or 42.  The horses came up last night with dried salt sticking their hair together.  They all looked bright enough but it must be hard on them. 
      Yesterday, because it was too hot to do anything else, I watched a couple of Parelli videos. The most helpful for the stage we're at, was the weave pattern.  So this morning I set up 5 20 gallon drums in the arena and got the boy.  Warmed up with some of the seven games in the usual sequence.  Must admit we usually skip the squeeze  and the friendly games.  He was fine, a little slow to start.
      What I found with the weave pattern is that it showed up  our weaknesses, in particular with driving.  If I led him through the weave, he did well.  If asked to take himself through the weave (me driving) he'd stop particularly at the trot.  We'd practiced a few changes of direction on the circle beforehand using the draw and the drive.  After watched PP yesterday I wanted to get it done without Balthazar coming into my space.  He's always had the tendency to push into me during the change, to the point where I'd even take a step back.  Today I pushed back, made him give way.  As a consequence our changes were snappier and he was more lively.  And the ear pinning disappeared too.
      But back to the weave.  Once he had the idea I tried it at the trot.  Everything fell apart.  He'd circle at the trot but he wouldn't be driven.   He'd slow to a walk or stop.  We had to practice just being driven up and down the line without attempting the weave.  After he got the idea we tried the weave again.  It overwhelmed him.  He went into his Pretty Pose trot where he looks very pretty 'on the bit' but is actually mentally somewhere else.  It seemed the only way through this was to keep driving him.  It worked.  It wasn't easy for him but he seemed to finally pay attention to this thing that was after him and when he did, driving him through the weave at the trot was a success.  We did it a couple of times then quit.  We spent thirty minutes in the arena to get it.  Tomorrow, our really stinking hot day, if I can get organized early in the morning, we'll after another go before the heat becomes intolerable.

Maybe it was the partial solar eclipse.  Maybe it was having a few days away from the arena.  Maybe it was just time.   Whatever it was, today was a banner day.  Balthazar shone.  We did 10 or 15 minutes online first. It was rather ho-hum and distracted to begin with.  Thought why is this so bad.  Why isn't he focussed?  Because I wasn't.  I allowed, even expected, that his work would be half-hearted.  I know he can do it so why do it quickly and cleanly?  If I'm bored with the work, what do I think I'm conveying to him?  Exactly.

So I focussed, became insistent and away we went.  Instantly.  It translated to under saddle too.  We were walking around the arena without purpose or so it appeared.  We had purpose but it was more a spray than a beam.  Once I pulled myself together Balthazar naturally followed.  We got some decent circles with almost no help from the reins.  We stayed on the wall and our cantering!  Our cantering was amazing.  He didn't break stride, he stayed on the rail, he turned nicely and to finish he cantered from the walk!  Yes, from the walk.  Okay, there may have been half a trot stride in there someplace but really it was like riding a hack. 

Balthazar has NEVER been able to to do that under saddle.  We have never just....cantered.  It was so quiet, smooth, instantaneous and sweet that I got off him.  What more could he give me?  What more could I ask?  It was only 20 minutes but the nicker he gave as I praised him was the icing on the cake. 

There's something quietly joyous about looking at a pair of pricked ears as my body rises and falls with the rhythm of the trot.  Took Balthazar to the end of the road and back.  We've had rain and haven't been out for a few days.  Today was an opportunity to look at the freshly scrubbed-of-dust world.  We've had so little rain this spring that everything has been cloaked with a film of bull dust.  Balthazar, despite being taken from a fresh paddock which actually has grass, seemed content to have a look too.  The birds were singing, the sky was blue and there were those ears at the end of a long red neck and the unparalleled aroma of warm horse.  What could be finer? 
     Made a decision a couple of weeks ago not to wear a helmet any more.  I've done the right thing for years but now I want to do what feels comfortable rather than always thinking 'safety first'.   Something about getting back to basics, why I love horses and why I  love to ride.  Wearing a helmet with this chin strap cutting into my throat wasn't one of them nor was having a hot sweaty head.  I'm wearing a faded woven blue hat with a huge brim and a paua shell pin on the crown.  It keeps the sun off my neck, shades my eyes so I can see and is lightweight and (relatively) cool.  The first few rides, especially when doing something 'dangerous' like cantering, were a bit scary.  It felt like driving a car at high speed without a safety belt on but now I'm used to it and like the feeling.   Of course I don't recommend anyone else do this.  I know how dangerous riding is but the odd thing is most accidents seem to involve something other than a split skull. 
    Yesterday I took Balthazar out for pick just to do something with him.  It seemed like I hadn't spent time with him for days which was true in a way although I see him morning and night.  On Thursday, think it was Thursday, we went up the hills and around.  Nothing to report.  It was a good ride and he was a good boy (of course).  It's starting to be enough that we ride even though we don't have a goal.  There's something to be said about the philosophy of that.  I've ridden for years with goals.  I'm not sure that's a good idea.  When I was a kid, with my first horse, a palomino called Sunny, I rode for joy.  Now that I'm older and am expected to seek and display my second childhood, I want to ride for joy again.  Wouldn't that be wonderful?  To finish up where I started.  I can think of no better goal than that.  

How easily horses are entertained.  When I took a fly veil to Dakota at the far end of the creek paddock I found 15' of black PVC pipe left by the floods and unearthed by our drought (Australian weather is nothing if not unpredictable).  Pulled it out of the grass and started for the gate.  Dakota, Balthazar and especially Pagan thought the pipe was a hoot.  They weren't afraid of it yet they pranced and danced and pirouetted as though it was a 15 foot python I was holding in my hands.  They followed me all the way to the yards and seemed disappointed when I pushed it through the gate for disposal. 
   About the ride.  25 minutes in the arena.  10 minutes online?  I am trying while online to get a reaction with less push and more distance.  We are somewhat successful.  His full pass along the fence is inconsistent.  And one sided.  He is better when passing left rather than right.  Probably easier for him to fall into his hollow side rather than walk into his stiff side.  At any rate.  As long as we're improving.  He's good at circling.  Funny too.  Sometimes he misinterprets a movement of mine as a request to stop realizes it isn't, catches himself and moves on.  Quite proud of him for that.
    More cantering today than we've ever done.  Got a little particular too.  He broke into trot a couple of times so I circled and asked him to canter again immediately.  Also asked for upward transitions when he started to get behind the leg and behind the bit.  Not as a punishment but to send him forward.  It worked well.  Still had lots of breaks, lots of praised.  Hopped off when he gave a nice step for a right TOF without sucking back or getting stressed.
    

The new hind boots came so we went for a burn up the road. It's the first time we've been out for weeks. The boots stayed put. Very pleased. Took us 45 minutes to go 6km. Used Balthazar as a ladder to pick some wattle seeds for the birds. Good practice for him to stand still while I leaned and reached this way and that. One advantage of these boots is the padding. I don't worry about trotting or cantering on hard ground as concussion is minimal. He was pretty good for not having been out in so long. Reluctant to leave the others naturally but I just kept him going and he soon walked/trotted/cantered himself out of it. I think sometimes he likes seeing new things.
I noticed something today. Riding on a loose rein I take turns holding the reins in my right and left hand. I rest my fingers on his withers to remind me not to interfere. Realized it was harder, like I had to stretch a little to keep my left hand there which of course turns my body slightly to the right - to his off/stiff side. Perhaps his perceived stiffness is only a reflection of my stiffness or, more likely, we reinforce one another's stiffness for he is stiff online as well as under saddle. He seemed to travel straighter when I rode using my left hand. So of course I will have to ride like that until it feels as easy as it does with the right. Hopefully it will help him, without doing anything overt, to straighten. Wouldn't that be something? Just changing hands makes that left hind step under more.
Yesterday just did 15 minutes online. Was going to ride but he did so well on the ground I thought that was enough. Besides, it's good to mix things up a bit. Took him out for 30 minutes pick so Balthazar could say that he had a really good and relaxing day!

A pile-driving red and blue barber's pole.  That's what we were today attempting to ride figure 8s.  Yes, he was brilliant at turning when we were turning *toward* his buddies in a neighbouring paddock.  Much less so turning away however, somewhat like trying to turn an 18 wheeler with a dose of good intentions and little else.  I stepped in that inner stirrup as if my life depended upon it and still he drifted wide and away.  Or, conversely, going toward his friends, he'd step in so tight as to almost step on the drum.  Oh well.  We kept practicing interspersed with trot breaks around the arena.  Stopped when he did a pretty nice imitation of a horse that could be ridden bridleless.  Of course he was only humouring me and it took several twisting asanas during yoga work later in the morning to unkink what had been kunked. 

Hot even at 8am so rode for only 20 minutes.  Quite a bit of cantering today.  It's becoming 'Old Hat'.  We did have a bit of a fight.  He wasn't listening to my left leg (he's hollow left, stiff right) and if not corrected would 'fall' into the arena away from the rail, cut corners badly and fall into circles.   I kicked and he still didn't listen so I slapped the reins against his neck.  That woke him up.  The next time he tuned me out I picked up the left rein (I've been neck reining) and turned his head.  He had a bit of a hissy; head tossing, prancing, losing all the forward feeling that we've been getting (an unlooked for but brilliant side effect of riding the rail).  But I insisted.  As soon as he gave I let go and praised like mad.  It was a bit of a back and forth sort of ride.  At times (after I got up him) he was sensitive and responsive.  At other times I had to insist.  But we finished on a very good note.  Because of the tuning up, I rode a circle to the left in which he didn't fall in, was bent through the body and held the line all without reins, only my body.  This made me think too.  I know from the yoga that I am very crooked, that the strength in my body is uneven and that even after 3 years of yoga practice I am still mismatched.  What feels even to me might feel very different to Balthazar so that when I think I am asking with my body for him to bend around a corner I am actually hindering rather than helping.  I don't know how to deal with this except to do what I'm doing; more yoga and mindfulness.  I am trying to slow everything down (figuratively speaking) so that I don't nag with my aids, that I am still when I can be still and that I listen to his side of the conversation.  It's a bit of a battle.  Old habits die hard.  Still, it was a good day.  We accomplished a bit and I'm very pleased with some of our corners, the cantering, and especially that last round circle.

The oddest thing happened yesterday.  While Balthazar was eating I turned on the tap to the water trough.  I was daydreaming sitting on the edge watching the water pour in (actually I was studying the stream from the hose, wondering how I could draw it).  Anyway, I was hidden from his sight for a few minutes by the green tank.  When I turned the tap off and walked to the gate, he was there.  That it was strange he was there didn't occur to me until I started to put his feed bin away.  He hadn't finished.  Now unless there's a circus in the front paddock or strange horses are stampeding through the yards, Balthazar doesn't leave his food.  After years of Drifter's colicks I assumed the worse.  But I was wrong.  He wasn't sick.  He was curious.  He'd come to the gate to try and see where I was, what I was doing.  While I was hovering near the feed bin wondering what was wrong with him, Balthazar calmly returned and resumed eating.  
     Today's riding was hard.  He wasn't bad or anything but I really worked on myself  and that's the hardest lesson of all.  I know that I *talk* too much with my aids so this arena riding is good training for me to learn to say one thing at a time.  What usually happens is that I'm asking with my seat, weight, legs and reins and that I'm micromanaging using all the aforementioned.  So today I was very particular about asking with my legs and getting a response.  He's learned to plug his ears, figuratively speaking, so I asked softly with my leg and if I didn't get a response, I asked with more pressure.  If I still didn't get a response I stopped him and asked with as much pressure as it took (and at the start of the ride, it was a kick or several).  But it was good because he was re-sensitized to the leg so that a gentle bump sufficed.
   Another thing I have to work on is my weight.  On his stiff right side, going to the right, I'm leaning to the left in a vain effort to get him back underneath me.  This is wrong and doesn't work.  I need to maintain a neutral position (weight wise) and get him to step underneath himself by answering my leg.  Every corner we took today in the arena was a chance to practice that.  And boy was it hard.  Good but hard.  We did quite a lot of circles and half circles (change of direction).  Much more trotting today.  Cantering too.  I got a cavort (can one just have a cavort, as a noun or must it be cavorting an adjective?).  Anyway, when I asked for our first canter he leapt into the air - cavorting.  It was the wrong lead but as I said before we can get particular about that later.  Right now all I want is a calm canter which doesn't deteriorate into a trot or inflate into a gallop.  He also needs to be able to turn smoothly (neck rein) at the canter.  We're getting there.  
  

20 minutes of the same thing we've been working on; staying in the gait (that's not a problem, maintaining the speed of the gait is the next thing to work on) and staying on the rail.  We've upped the ante a little as today I asked for half circles to change direction (neck rein).  We also did 20M circles - not a lot, just looking for a circular circle and a happy compliance.  Balthazar tends to toss his head when turning away from the direction of the paddock where his buddies are.  In fact, we quit today when I got a very smooth, accurate, non head tossing/tail swishing circle away from them.  He does try, dear boy.  We also did a little cantering but I quit early because the wind was coming up and although he wasn't spooking why complicate things?  We've had a change come through so it's cool, dry and windy.  The three of them were bucking and farting this morning when I turned them out.  It's just that kind of weather.  At any rate, 20 minutes was enough.  The ground work, 10 minutes of it, was fine.  He's improving all the time.  We're getting a much more responsive full pass along the fence and yielding on a circle around me (like he's the hour hand and I'm the center of the clock).

Good, no excellent, day.  I learned something today.  That's more important than Balthazar learning something.  It was so hot even at 8am that I kept the groundwork very short and basic.  He did fine.  Rode for 25 minutes.  Along the arena rail again with some neck reining circles over 1/3 or half the arena.  Keeping it very simple and straightforward.  And that's what I learned.  I've been so anal about details without having the basics down at all and the basics at the moment are to do with keeping him relaxed and forward. That's all.  Relaxed and forward.  After that it's answering to the neck rein.  Being accurate will come later.  He tosses his head even as he makes the circle.  It will improve as it becomes old hat.  We did some cantering too which was great.  Since quitting cirgarettes my wind has improved so that helps too.  Cantering used to wipe me, it's such a physically engaging gait for the rider.  Anyway, we did some cantering, it was not a big exciting event.  He didn't leap, cavort, buck or bolt so we're ahead of the game.  Happy day.

Tried something completely different yesterday.  Ground work fine.  Consistently more responsive.  When I think back to how we were when we started groundwork and how we are now the progress is obvious.  Much room for improvement of course but it's good.  As for the riding, decided to ride one handed on a loose rein around the arena.  His job to stay on course and at the speed requested.  My job to leave him alone unless he needed bringing back on course or a reminder to maintain gait.  Clearly illustrated something.  If I left him alone he trotted along quite happily.  As soon as I touched the reins to bring him back to the arena boundary or to keep him from cutting a corner, down would go the head, nose pointing to the chest.  I could feel him mentally leave me as he went to that safe place of his where he outwardly complies with a request and inwardly shuts down.  So we played with walking and trotting around the arena - no cantering yet.  Asked him to halt with my seat from a big trot.  Really sat down on him and by gum, we had a perfectly square halt.  Hopped off with lots of praise.  But the best part was yet to come.  Took him out for pick.  I can loop the lead rope over his withers while he eats so he has a bit of freedom.  When it was time to quit I walked down the road toward the driveway.  Called him.  He looked up but didn't come.   I walked a bit further and called again.  He'd been watching me while grazing, both ears pricked.  When I called his head snapped up and on he came at the gallop.  The gallop turned into a trot but he did trot all the way to me.  Gave him a big hug.  What a lovely feeling.  I know if I called him while he felt safe in his own paddock he wouldn't have left the other horses to come.  Nevertheless I glowed the rest of the day.

Much better today.  10 minutes ground work.  Balthazar, if allowed, tends to dribble around comply with a request when he gets around to it.  I insisted that he comply immediately.  I don't care if he's hesitant and slow on new stuff but on things he knows, he now needs to get to it and do it.  He's always been a bit reluctant in the driving game.  Can almost see him saying, yeah, yeah, all RIGHT already.  Granted he'd improved alot being driven from zone 1 but he was still Mr. Molasses in zone 3.  Today I hunted zone 3.  He moved his little red butt and 40 minutes later when I asked him to move it when maneuvering through a gate, he retained the energy and MOVED.  As for the riding.  He wasn't scary to ride today.  He was still tense, robotic (but pretty!) in his trot (was he ridden in draw reins at one time?  He has always been behind the bit, overbent and behind the leg since I've had him.  On the trail he's fine but in the arena he 'hides').  At any rate, I didn't worry about it.  My main goal today was to try and relax him (a squeaking sheath is not a sign of relaxation!) and as that wasn't happening, to do lots of transitions with lots of breaks either at the halt or a loose rein walk.  Mostly I don't have a connection through the reins with the bridle.  To keep my body even I hold the reins in each hand rather than one but they are loose and floppy unless I need to make a connection.  For instance, asking for a halt with just my body, if he doesn't halt I pick p the reins and ask.  Ditto if I've asked hm to turn and he ignores me, I ask through the reins.  My goal is to be able to ride without reins.  He is quite sensitive and when he's attentive and calm he does very well.  Took him out for pick afterwards and he was quite happy to wander across the road and graze.  So it was a much happier day for both of us.  Played a brief game of Carrot Hunt in the yards.  Balthazar knew exactly what was up and found them quickly.  Not playing for a week or so has helped him play better.  He looks for direction more which is great.

Awful ride.  10 or 15 minutes groundwork and he seemed fine.  But things have changed.  Haven't worked with him for a week.  Have hardly spent any time with him  either, just the bare minimum of feeding up, checking for ticks, having a quick cuddle (for my benefit not his!).  Add to that  the horses are in a new paddock and his attention was everywhere but with me.  Tried the many transitions and could feel him losing it.  Back coming up, head tossing, starting to go sideways or at the halt, backwards without being asked, pounding around in the robotic but *pretty* trot with a squeaking sheath and absolutely no give in the back, no connection to me.  It's quite scary really as although he's going forward and going forward at a good clip he is behind my leg.  All his energy is not at my disposal but coiled up inside him ready to burst forth at the first opportunity.  Made the best of it by dropping the reins and trying to ride from my seat, doing lots of walk transitions to keep things calm, rewarding a halt from my seat with a break.  Finished on an okay but not stellar note.  I'm not disheartened.  Tomorrow will be better.  Once we get back in the routine it'll be fine and he'll get over his neediness for the other horses (even taking him out for pick, rather than grazing and moving away from the property he was slowly but inexorably working his way back).  Gave it up to experience.  Tomorrow is another day.  Nothing Bad happened, it just wasn't good.

20 minutes online, 20 minutes riding, 20 minutes grazing.  I think that's a good mixture.  Have noticed Balthazar is showing far less of his Crabby Face when he's being groomed and tacked up.  Keep shoving carrot pieces his way while I'm placing the saddle pad or tightening the girth (one hole at a time from each side with a break between each tightening.  Don't know how to make it any less intrusive).  It seems he almost forgets he's supposed to pin his ears and then remembers and tries to look peevish at the same time as he's looking for that carrot.  I predict in another month his expression will be exclusively one of pleasant anticipation.  Went from the 12' line to the 22'.  Not so great.  On the circle he still wants to spiral in, so much so I'm afraid he's going to tread on the rope.  Had to make BIG GESTURES to get him out.  He did comply so assume it's only a matter of practice and persistence (egad, I'm starting to sound like PP!).  He was again quite brilliant on the sideways.  His porcupine and driving aren't even on the near and off sides.  Notice the same when riding.  Trying the TOF.  His inability to do this smoothly is entirely my fault.  I never used to see the value in it so didn't do it.  We always did TOHQ which is what he wants to offer (now interspersed with his new skill, full pass) when he feels my leg.  I've had to put my leg Far back on his barrel and go through the four phases to get a proper response.  We are improving but it just goes to show how training progresses, what he offers illustrates what's going on in his head and also what I need to do to make my requests crystal clear.  He's quite brilliant on his ridden transitions.  We did the spiral in an out from the drums again yesterday.  Not nearly as nice as the previous and first attempt.  Why is that?  Did I ask differently?  Did I expect too much?  Too little?  I think sometimes I make too much Noise with my body/my aids so that he can't hear what I'm trying to say.  I'm trying to control his flow of energy, hold it all together so that he doesn't fall in or out yet without hanging on the reins.  Anyway, today is a day off so we both can 'soak' a bit of yesterday's work and meet again tomorrow.  I do know, and anywhere else this would sound completely sappy, I am totally in love with my funny little redhead.  Spending so much time with him in a positive way has made a relationship between us where before there was none.

Cantered again today, same lead.  He picked it up, cantered quietly, came back quietly.  Very happy.  On his difficult side, the right, we didn't.  Will try next time.  Just like the left lead, which I know now he will do without difficulty, he needs to get used to the idea.  Also, because it is his difficult side, the best thing is to ask but not make a big deal (unless he gets it!).  On line got the best full pass we've ever done.  Accidentally flicked him with the end of the carrot stick string.  A happy accident it seems for he full passed both directions like a professional.  Which brings up the obvious question.  Why, if he understands it so well and is capable of accomplishing it with such ease, has he not done so?  Am I too nice?  I reward the merest try.  Perhaps now is the time to be a bit more insistent, to not reward until he's tried a little harder for a little longer.  I've been happy with one full step.  We tried a new exercise at the end of our 25 minutes? under saddle.  There are two 20L drums in the arena.  I asked him to walk very tight around the drum then gradually spiral out until the circle was large enough to ask for trot.  He found it easy to the left and difficult to the right.  But with a little effort from both of us he held his line, didn't fall in or out of the circle and stopped square!  That was good enough for me.  We quit and I took him out on the road for pick.  I like spending time with him like that.  He grazes and I know he's happy tasting green after this long winter.  He  raised hs head and touched me with his nose  which I interpreted as just a friendly checking in.    Quite companionable.

Cantered yesterday.  Only a few strides then back to trot.  Asked once and he sped up but didn't change gait.  The second time he responded.  Need to do it enough so that it becomes, in the words of Tom Roberts, Old Hat.  Cantering 20m circles, doing lots of transitions will also help him to build muscle, become handier, fitter and stronger.  I love doing the transitions at the walk, trot, halt, back up.  Break them up with long trots or walks around the arena or having a walk outside the arena.  Our farrier trimmed his feet on Thursday.  He checked the fit of the Trail Easy Boots.  How could I be two sizes off?  Measured and remeasured before ordering but now have gone from size 5 and 6 to size 4 and 5 and really need to go down to size 3 (hind feet) and 4 (front).  That's two sizes out.   Anyway, need to get out and ride if I'm going to do it as it's supposed to be 35 today and probably 38 tomorrow!

Arena work yesterday.  Lots of transitions.  Balthazar sensitive enough to trot from walk or halt almost with a thought (along with slight lifting of the diaphragm and a *welling up* of energy from saddle to throat - describing badly but that's kind of how it feels).  Once he's attuned his downard transitions improve although not as quick as the upward.  Couple of times had to employ touch of reins rather than just stopping riding and tightening core - again lousy description but best I can do.  He comes up beneath me so much that he tosses his head on downward transitions and would leap into canter or over jump with just a thought.  However want his responses solid before cantering as he's been a little over exuberant at times and I don't bounce anymore.  Lots of trouble getting one step of turn on the forehand.  EIther he backs or walks forward, turns on the hindquarter or if he does TOF he takes 3 or 4 steps rather than one.  It's been a blessing really as I've had to slow way down and analyze what I'm doing, whisper with my aids and be VERY precise in how I ask.  Yesterday we did get one step either direction which was good despite many false incorrect starts.  Happy with that as we can build upon it later.  Lots and lots of praise.   To get the idea had to do a one rein stop so that he was stepping away from my leg.  Not how I wanted to do it because his head was bent right around rather than just tipped over but it did convey to him that yes, it is THIS we are asking for so that's okay.    Also asked for leg yielding to and from the arena wall on the long side.  Rather inelegant but okay.  Played Carrot Treasure Hunt afterwards. 

     Four strides trot, four strides walk, four strides trot, four walk.  On the circle in both directions.  This simple exercise got Balthazar listening, very light and bent to the right on the circle without stress.  Normally he has a great deal of trouble bending to the right.  If you imagine his energy like a hose with water through it, he is blocked in the shoulders, kinked in the neck and offside ribcage and leaking through the ribs and offside barrel.  I tend to try and plug the holes with too much physicality; legs, hands and core and all it does is turn us both into pretzels.  Today I didn't worry about whether he was bent correctly or not.  Only asked that he respond to my aids to  trot or walk (or halt) without delay.  Did try and keep our circles of equal size and round but didn't fuss too much.  Didn't have to because having to use his body to respond he was up underneath himself and therefore able to use both sides of his body more or less equally.
     I could tell it was hard for him to the right as he head tossed even though contact was negligible and I gave him nothing to fight against.  The best thing was the head tossing, as he warmed up and responded better, diminished.  Lots of walk on loose rein breaks or breaks at the halt.  Lots and lots of verbal Good Boy to which he often responds with a nicker, butt and between the ear and neck scritches.  Was so proud of both of us; him because of who he is and how he tries and me because I kept it light and happy and wasn't anal at all (is this Parelli, yoga,  meditation or the stars in the right configuration?).
     I haven't kept up with our work or rides.  Two days ago I took him out for a 6km walk trot on our dirt road.  He was antsy and spooky, not his normal self.  Have come to the conclusion it was because he knew other horses had been on the road.  I have 3 locked in the front paddock as I write, but that's another story.  Have also been playing The Carrot Treasure Hunt.  He improves steadily - not in great leaps and bounds but in small increments.  As do I.  I've learned that much can be gained by just waiting.  Given enough time Balthazar will eventually stop sniffing manure or nibbling the grass and come in search of that carrot.
     Our groundwork also improves.  I am getting a little bit more particular as to how and when he responds to a request.  His sideways today was the best he'd ever done.  It helped that I kept saying, as much for my benefit as his, 'don't make me touch you!' and so he'd step over with that hind leg.  Also got more of a response at a distance than before.  Action at a distance, like particle physics!

Carrot Treasure Hunt

A treasure hunt with carrots.  That's what we did yesterday.  Because I want Balthazar to wake up and pay attention and not go into his little zone because he's being asked to do something thought it would be fun to try a treasure hunt.  Placed carrot pieces around the largest horse yard; on stones, on posts, in a feed bin, stuffed between the tank and a post and on the ground.   Directed him to his feed bin first for his inclination would be to check it anyway.   Had to use big movements up close (he was at liberty) and dash around a bit to direct him to the 'treasures'.  But by the end of it, and I think I only used 7 or 8 treasures, he was starting to look for it.

My goal is to be able to direct him to a place with minimal gestures  from a distance, to be able to draw and direct, to disengage the haunches or push the forehand over while standing still.  Although it was very rough and ready yesterday it was fun  and again, getting him out of the paddock and not riding or doing groundwork is enough to keep him on his toes.  When I went to get him he took a step towards me which was good.  Something we can build on.

Have had a few sessions with Balthazar that I haven't recorded:   a ride to the end of the road, some grazing, one online, one groom plus carrot and then releasing back into the paddock and today, some online work and riding in the arena.  Went in with the idea that I would keep my energy up whilst giving lots of breaks and verbal praise, kind of a balancing point of pressure and release.  I wanted him 'with' me, not zoning out as he tends to do when I'm too soft, but also didn't want to exert so much pressure that he was squeaking (sheath) and unhappy.  For the most part we were successful.  With less fuzziness on my part and clearer direction as to what we were doing Balthazar was able to do as he was directed more readily.  Also, when he tried but tried the wrong thing for the most part I just switched gears and made the wrong thing, the right thing.  Sometimes I insisted that he follow direction but if his doing the wrong thing seemed more an act of not knowing rather than disobedience, why not reward the try?

His sideways on the fence and even in the middle of the arena was much better.  I woke him up by insisting that he move his forehand over when I asked.  He was just moving his head and not going anywhere.  I followed through and made contact with his jaw.  Not hard but he had to know that if he didn't DO something there would be consequences.  After that wake up call he was excellent.    He was even yielding with a little distance between my asking hand and his head or hindquarter.

At the end of the online session asked him to touch objects.  We've been miserable at this so today I put carrot pieces on the twenty litre drums and on one of the logs surrounding the arena.  Took forever.  He was dozing off in the sunshine.  Kept moving him from drum to drum after waiting patiently until his eyes were closing and it became apparent we weren't going to touch it.  Once he had the first carrot he woke up and looked for the second one.  He even showed some initiative in finding the carrot on the log.

Before turning him out I placed a couple of carrots on the fence and tried to direct him to them while he was at liberty.  Took a while but he got them.  That game will be something fun to try the next time we play.  He'll catch on and have loads of fun finding the treats - and if my reasoning is sound, he'll start to really pay attention to my body language.  Quite looking forward to it actually.  A horsey treasure hunt.

Under saddle we worked on one step for turn on the forehand.  He tends to resist then take too many steps.  Wanted him to listen so that we could get one soft step in either direction.  We improved but that's something that needs work.  Also did alot of transitions from walk to trot to halt to back and combinations thereof.  He was very good.  Very forward.  Tried to get him on the bit, or in this case, on the bridle tracking to the right.  Dismounted when I got one.

Pushy.  Not Balthazar, me.  Intended to ride but got so into the groundwork that we ran out of time.  Was trying to introduce the concept of stopping or slowing while circling.  Should have just stuck to that but as I also used the 22' line thought I'd ask for a canter.  Wound up chasing him which only upset him and didn't succeed anyway.  In hindsight I realize he was probably still a little footsore and cantering on our drought hardened earth was not something he wanted to do.  So after stressing him and losing trust I had to back up and try to earn his trust again.  It wasn't that he was trying to get away from me but I could see it in his eyes - why ARE you chasing me with that stick?  Instead of it being a directional aide it was something used to exert a lot of pressure.  Pushy and so wrong.  Again, it isn't Balthazar that needs the training, it's me.  You'd think after 56 years I'd wake up to myself and not get a) impatient b) selectively blind (choosing not to see what happening in blind pursuit of the end goal) and c) stubborn- we WILL do this.  I'm such a disappointment to myself.  The thing is horses are endlessly forgiving and will start afresh with you the next day given half a chance.  That is humbling.  They don't carry grudges and they don't judge.  They see you and react to you exactly as YOU ARE.  There is no escaping one's shortcomings when working with horses.

Here's an account of a pitfall of pushing Balthazar too hard.  He's been quite good about maintaining gait while circling.  Yesterday he started either dropping down a gait or stopping completely when he was behind me.  Talk about not wanting to play!  Entirely my fault.  Had to back him up, start him again several times before he trusted me enough to want to go.

Anyway, back to the session.  He still zones out when we work on back (porcupine - fingers on nose or chest).  It all has to do with the clicker training.  He drops (his pizzle) and then just isn't there mentally which is exactly why I had to give up the c/t.  It worked beautifully with the other horses, with the birds, dogs, etc but not Balthazar.   That makes him unique.  There's much more going on with him than meets the casual eye

At any rate, I have to wake him up by doing something else and then try again.  When he's 'there' he does do it a little better.  We got a step back with a pressure of 2 twice yesterday.   Not ideal but a start.  His sideways was much better.  He's definitely getting the idea.  The circling was good.  Going left he tends to spiral in (he's hollow left, stiff right).  Yesterday I did get him to move out using the driving aide which was brilliant.   We did finish on a good note and I took him out for pick which he enjoys so all is not lost.  The only good thing about being so naughty yesterday is that I'll be on my best behaviour today.

CrossUnder bridle

Tried the new CrossUnder bridle on Balthazar yesterday.  Worked brilliantly.  He had no trouble understanding it.  The only tiny hiccup was The Back.  He didn't get it at first and I probably wasn't as clear with my body/leg aids, relying more or less exclusively on the bridle.  He just stood there.  Hmmm.  Released with my hands, reorganized my thoughts and my body and asked for and got a smooth back.  So it wasn't the bridle.

Was running out of time and he was a tiny bit footsore on his nearside front (he'd been trimmed on Monday and I didn't bother with his boots) so only went through a few things before calling it quits. 

We did do some groundwork before I tried the bridle.  He was much much better with his full pass.  No, he's not sidling away like a crab at the beach.  He's hesitant and clunky but he's starting to understand and he really tried.  That was enough.  Ditto his driving.  Much improved.  Unfortunately his back up with my fingers on his chest or nose was still slow and hesitant.  There's a mystery in this because back in the yards I asked him to back  so that I could close the gate behind us and he backed with a whisper of a touch.  

Took him out for pick.  I really enjoy these times.  It's quiet and companionable, like old friends doing their own thing while at ease in each others company.  If I want to move on there is no dragging on the halter.  I click my tongue and start to walk off.  He may snatch that last mouthful but he comes too.   While he's eating I look around, often at him.  Now that he's starting to lose his wnter coat he's looking pretty nice.  His neck has a golden irridescence and there are hints of dapples on his barrel.  But I also look at the trees and birds and wallabies.  Watched 6 quail gird their loins to cross the bitumen.  They sent a scout ahead.  When he was still he was almost invisible, pressing himself flat against the ground.  When he deemed it was safe, he made the dash quickly followed by the other five.
This hidden world we are too busy and noisy and preoccupied to see.  Just standing around while your horse grazes - wallabies don't perceive you as a threat and cross the road to dine in the dressage arena, butterflies whack you on the brow as they fly past (not sure if it was a greeting, a mishap or a warning), willie wagtails threaten each other from a safe distance.  And then Balthazar raises his head and touches my arm with his muzzle before returning to eat, kind of like a friend who pats your arm over coffee.   Life doesn't get much better.

Is a squeaky sheath something to be concerned about?  Have always interpreted it as a horse who is tense and a tense horse as an unhappy horse.
      Worked on the circling game yesterday after being motivated by the video in Resources.  Slapped the ground 3 times in rhythm and there it was, squeak squeak squeak.  But I did have a motivated horse. Previously  Balthazar has kind of schlepped around the circles, rather like a teeenager with his shoes untied and his hat on backwards.  Yesterday I had his attention.  And, despite the squeak, it was good.   He circled on the 22' lead.  He stayed out on the circle rather than doing ellipses.  We even moved over on the circle so he could jump the logs which make the boundary of the dressage arena. 
     When we went through the 7 games in the beginning he was ho hum about the driving and porcupine, again on the off side.  We tried again after the circling and he was much improved.  Backing with my fingers on his nose or chest is still poor.  He seems to start to get it.  He rocks back or takes a step back and I remove my hand but then we're back to stage 4 to get a response.  Then, in another situation he'll back with the weight of a feather.  I'm doing something wrong but don't know what yet.  I'm not concerned.  It will come right in the end.
     Balthazar had done so well that after 15 or 20 minutes we quit and I took him for pick.  I don't see the advantage in drilling.  Work a little bit each day, work for some improvement in all the games, then make it nice for him.,  For me too.  Quite enjoy just being near him.
    I am following through on things I let slide before.  If he's eating and pins his ears I make him leave the food.  He can't return until I invite him.  I don't make a big deal, just exert enough pressure to move his feet but I do quietly insist. 
     In the saddling area if I touch his chest or shoulders while grooming he pins his ears.  I can touch him when we are somewhere else and he's not bothered so it has more to do with tacking up then being ticklish or tender.  I am more mindful when grooming and it is a more pleasant experience for both of us.  Not sure how to deal with the ear pinning or biting at the chest except to keep my hand in place until he desists.  Suspect it will become a non issue over time.
     Have ordered a crossover bitless bridle.  Did ride him in a halter with reins attached but it's not ideal.  Have to make it snug so that it doesn't slide and I don't think it's very comfortable.  Am hopeful the bridle will arrive today and we can have a play.  Have also ordered size 4 easy boots so we are prepared for all the sizes of his hooves from trim to trim.

Holes, great yawning caverns of ignorance.  That's what I discovered about our attempts to do the 7 games with Balthazar.  Watched the videos supplied on "Resources" and realized that  although we may not be clueless, we're dancing on the precipice.  In my ignorance and arrogance (often closely related) I thought we were doing pretty well with the 7 Games.  Wrong!  Went through them, using them as an illustration of where the holes are without trying to correct what was found (as per video).  Afterwards we went back and worked on the weaknesses.  It was really good actually.  I'm an adherent of the shotgun approach; throw everything you've got at something and you're bound to hit it.  That might be good for an overcaffeinated woman with concentraton issues but it does nothing for the equine half of the partnership.  This testing of the 7 games rapid fire works for me who was admittedly thinking it all a bit of a yawn - the preflight check for a horse that flies, albeit like a fractured turkey, but flying nevertheless.   Why go through them if he does them?  Well, after seeing the video I realize that although Balthazar might do them there is no grace, little willingness and certainly no art in his rendering.  Half the time he appears to be asleep although his apparent sleepiness is more a protective mechanism.

So that's the background.  This is the nuts and bolts.   Friendly game - perfect.  Tried for the first time lifting his forelegs with the lead behind the knee.  He stood for a moment fathoming out this new activity then calmly lifted his leg!  Porcupine, great near side, awful off side, immovable at the back up (fingers on chest).  Yo Yo, molasses bound back, quite fine on the return, driving game, same trouble off side, reluctant near side,   Sideways, practically non-existent.  Circling game - Can you wake that horse up, please?

So we started over.  Porcupine with fingers on offside nose, he just turned his head while his feet remained concreted to the ground  I just stayed in position and waited.  Eventually he moved his feet.   Very strange that he is so abysmal on the offside while he's smooth asa butter on the nearside.  Ditto driving game.  Worked alot on sideways as it incorporates the driving game.  Tempted to WAKE HIM UP.  But he's not asleep.  Waking him up will be a process.   Backing with fingers in chest - had to continuously go to '4' before he'd move.  Then he seemed to be getting the idea.  The odd thing is I notice much of the training time he is shut down but if I ask for the same thing in the normal course of moving him about to groom or tack him up or get through gates he is as light as gossamer.  So it's not that he doesn't understand it is a psychological block.

Rode for about 20 minutes. Worked on one step left, one step right, yo yo, halts and departs, some circles. Especially interesting in that I'd ask him to take one step to the left (or right) with the forehand and then ask the hindquarter to follow suit.  We got back up, forward, many sensational turn on the haunches but very little resembling an honest hindquarter step.  At first.  It's a matter of understanding too.  Always had trouble attempting half pass in that his head was always facing away from the direction of travel.  Now I know that eventually we will correct that and correct it without misunderstanding or ill feeling.

So even though it was awkward and clumsy and fraught with errors in communication our little session today was quite extraordinarily good. 

  A broken bridle, miles from home and heavy equipment upgrading our rood. A comedy of errors or a litany of disasters. Suppose it depends upon the outcome and one's point of view. As I am in one piece typing this I choose the comedy of errors.

We began well enough. Decided to ride up the mountain and then circle it halfway up on a track I haven't been on since last winter. Balthazar was forward and keen yet listening well, after all we were riding in our makeshift bitless bridle. All was going well, even passing a dump truck towing a 'dog' without incident until we were miles from home and deep in the eucalypt and brigalow bush. Balthazar, who had been travelling well and without incident suddenly lurched and then seemed to go lame on his offside hind. The easy boot on that hoof had twisted 90 degrees. While I was trying to take it off Balthazar took a step forward. I'd looped the reins over his neck but he'd dropped his head, the reins slid forward and his hoof came down on the left one. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. Of course he raised his head, felt the pressure, of course he jerked and of course the bridle broke in two places and the rein in one.

So I was standing there holding bridle pieces and an easy boot. After some experimenting I managed to tie the throatlash to a cheekpiece. No browband, no throatlash so a good shake would've thrown the whole thing off. Tied the reins together and off we went.

He was a delight. Even though we were heading home he didn't pull, didn't jig jog (he wanted to but at a word from me he desisted) and he didn't shake his head. The blasted boot had to be fixed twice more. The third time I just took it off. I'm going to get another pair of easy boots in a smaller size so that I have boots to fit before and after he's trimmed.

Great day today.  The highlight was not the training, on line or under saddle, but his looking to me, touching me with his muzzle, for reassurance when we were out for 'pick' and he wasn't sure about something mildly scary down the road (still have no idea what he saw that he found upsetting).  On line we worked on better circles.  He is inclined to look at me without moving when asked to circle.  Broke it down into discrete very obvious steps today so that there could be no mistake.  Made the increments of asking equally clear.  Didn't take long before he was changing direction and changing pace almost instantly - instantly but without being tense.  Very very happy.

Less happy with our attempts, under saddle, to full pass.  Asking for the hindquarter to move over a step and he replied with 4-quarter.  Again and again.  Dismounted to show him with porcupine (which needed little pressure) that it was indeed the hindquarter but where we are falling apart is that he is used to having his head and neck inclined AWAY from the direction of travel.   Bending his head/neck towards me while I ask with porcupine or driving to move works fine.  Asking under saddle that his head/neck actually be bent toward the direction of travel just confused him - and I'm unsure how to unconfuse him.   Asked for and got (with rather loud amplification of aids) for one step of hindqurater toward the direction of travel and then dismounted as reward.  Will leave it at that for the moment.  I'll have to think about it more.  Watched the video of Pat and Jake? practice and although Jake? did it very well, it doesn't translate for Balthazar and I.  All is not lost, however.  We will get a horse that can answer the aids no matter in what combination they are given.

Slowed things way down today.  Took him out for a game of 'touch it' and he didn't have a clue.  He went to the target readily enough (a blue 20L drum) but then just stood there, seemingly half asleep.  After waiting five minutes or more decided to try something else.  That's when I discovered he didn't have his go button set to go.  It was set to halt instead.  Only because he was unsure of what to do I think.  Better to stop and wait  rather than try something which might 'get him in trouble'.  My fault for ever putting that paradigm in his head.  Anyway.  We worked on the 'go' button ( tapping the drive line in zone 3) until he consistently went forward.  Then we worked on driving the forehand away with a motion of my hand.  Not so hot.  Had to go over and encourage him to move.  He does a turn on the forehand readily enough with the driving game but doesn't make the connection to yield at a distance.  I was happy when he finally moved his head and neck away at an indication from me.  I relaxed, let him off the hook, stopped all movement/asking/communication except to stand relaxed.  We got that head/neck movement away from both sides.  It is something to build on so that's fine.  He is also a bit slow to move the hindquarter away with driving.  I'm practically chewing horse hair before he moves.  I don't want to get too heavy or too quick with him for he goes and hides (so to speak) when I'm too strong.  DIdn't worry about it today.  Will have to give it some thought.  He was reluctant at first, from not understanding not from being recalcitrant, to go before me when I asked him to walk ahead of me.  When he did get it and was walking confidently he went to the next object and touched his nose to it.  Very pleased.  Balthazar was inclined to stop and look/turn towards me when walking on the circle.  Was trying to do a very slow, so there was no confusion, falling leaf pattern at the walk - which we did do.  He was quite good when on my left to change direction and go right but very bad when turning left from the right.  He'd just halt and look at me and it took a bit of ground slapping with the carrot stick to get him moving again.  It's not his fault.  Every trial and tribulation I encounter with Balthazar is of my own creation.  At any rate, I was going to ride but we did ground work for so long we ran out of time so I took him for a pick instead.  I am being (can I make paragraphs here?) more insistent that he have a friendly face when I am around him now.  He always pins his ears when he is eating and I am near and also when I rug him at night.  I used to just let him get away with it but now I am asking him, quite low key but low key insistent, that he move his feet when he pins his ears.  If I ask him to move away from his food he can't return until I invite him.  That makes a huge difference.  He decides it's not worth pinning his ears at the Boss Cocky.

Spent 30 or 40 minutes working on line.  Tried to make our first 3 games snappier which worked but also put me in a more aggressive mindset to work on the falling leaf game when I should have been slower and more observant. Not to say I lost my temper or anything like that but as it's a new skill for both of us to learn I would've been better off to slow it way down.  Heard his sheath squeaking which is a sure sign that he was tense.  Bad BAD Holly!   We also worked on full pass with his nose to the fence.  At first he didn't understand at all but then you could almost see the light bulb go off.  It was rough and a bit uncoordinated but he was trying and he knew what he was trying for so that's great.  Also did the driving at a distance which worked well.  He completely understands figure 8 around the barrels (in this case 20L drums).  Before he had to slow to a walk in the junction of the two circles but yesterday he was trotting through.  He deliberately stretched to get around the drum rather than cutting in like he used to.  Saddled him up (no pinned ears!) and rode circles around the drums, did some half pass attempts along the fence and transitions from walk to trot to halt to back to trot.  He was throwing his head when asked to back even though I didn't have a constant contact but tried to ask with legs and seat only, using the reins only when there was no response.   Because I felt he didn't have a reason to toss his head I finally was firm - he met my hands and I insisted that he back and back with alacrity.  We repeated this several times and he improved alot.   He was also neck reining well.  A new skill!   Tried to make our circles round and equidistant from the drums and also practiced riding a straight line along the fence without weaving.  It's a process.

To sum up although we did well I feel I was too hard on him - it became more like work and much less like play.  It's a continuing challenge for me to let go and not be so anal about everything.  He's not going to be perfect, he's not going to answer every question immediately and he's not going offer anything if I'm riding his case all the time.  The mountain before us is not his education but mine.  Did take him out for pick afterwards which hopefully mitigated some of my mistakes. 

Worked online before riding. Pleased with porcupine, driving, driving at a distance (he's got that really well now! , circling although his departs and changes of directon aren't as snappy as they could be. Tried sideways with his nose toward the fence. Huh? He was clearly confused either because it was new or because of the ineptness of my signals. Still, we got a couple of clumsy steps in both directions so was happy to leave it at that. Believe in the *soaking* method of learning. Saddled up at the arena as an experiment to see whether it would make any difference to his peevish expression. It did not. Still pinned his ears when the saddle pad was hovering above his back. At least he didn't bite at his chest. Which reminds me, I groomed him before we went to the arena and he was very good. Or I was very good; gentle enough not to attract the ear pinning and chest biting that he exhibited before.

Rode him off the property. Mr. Reluctance! Must I leave the others? I'll walk slow and weave from side to side or amble off the road toward the fence, anything to show my profound lack of impulsion. But he was wearing his easy boot booties so I asked him to trot, then canter. That straightened him out, figuratively and specifically. Took the rough cattle track up the mountain. We came to a shelf of stone and he stopped. I thought it was too much for him and was just contemplating getting off to try and find an alternate way when he gathered himself and leapt, from a standing start, up the rock. I was so proud! He really is an extraordinary horse. And! The neck reining that is not stellar in the arena was magnificent on the trail. He didn't spook at a wallaby and trotted really slow when I asked him without stopping. That's quite an accomplishment for him because I think it takes more self carriage to trot slowly (with his thoroughbred physique) than to barrel along with a ground covering stride.

Balthazar is very unfit so our little 40 minute bush ride was enough. Grazed him on lots of green grass on the way home. As it's too cold to hose him brushed him while he ate hay from a net. Was a really nice interlude. There is a bond between us where none existed before. It's not just a result of Parelli, although that is helping, but really started with the Water hole rituals of Carolyn Resnick - the most important element just sharing territory with no expectations. And stopping with the clicker training which was quite obviously sending him around the twist.

Balthazar and I reviewed yesterday's lesson.  *Soaking* works.  He'd read the manual and memorized it.  Couldn't be happier.  So decided to get on and have a play.  One thing we haven't been able to solve is his ear pinning when I lift the saddle pad over, not on, but over his back.  Ditto saddle.  Is it a holdover from racing/showjumping?  Because we haven't actually touched him it can't be because it's hurting him (same thing happens when I rug him - ears pinned and a face like a sour lemon).  Anyway, once it's on he's fine.  We played with one rein turns, using the left rein for both directions and then the right, ditto.  He is hollow left, stiff right which is reflected in the ease (or not) of his circling.  It's a journey.  Ride as though he doesn't wear a bridle but if he doesn't respond use the rein as a last resort.  Also worked on one step left, one step right with the one rein.  Slowing things WAY DOWN so that we are listening intently to one another.  Wanted him to take one step and no more.  Didn't want him walking forward or taking an extra step (like oversteer in a car) but just that one.  It is heartening to know that even though we weren't always successful he was focussed as intensely as I - and it was all so quiet.  The smaller and quieter my cues were the more he tuned in.  Took him out for pick on our quiet road.  Eventually I left him with the rope draped over his neck and walked back toward our propety.  "You coming? I asked.  He watched me, one ear cocked but kept eating.  I walked further, stopped and looked back.  He was beginning to realize he was all alone and had turned around.  I head a car then so went back to him.  Will try again another day to see what he does.  Will he come or stay and eat?

Learning Parelli-ism isn't just about accruing skills it seems, but also about divesting myself of that which is no longer useful.   First thing to go has to be emotion. Not attaching importance to success or failure but just observing what is happening and adjusting accordingly.  We haven't *failed* if we don't do it correctly.  I just haven't made myself clear or my timing is off or something equally innocuous - and as fixable.  It was very freeing, exhilarating actually, to not be emotionally attached to the result.  Worked on driving at a distance and found big holes in his understanding.  I thought we had it.  It didn't matter because we worked on it until he stopped being *emotional*, thought about it, got it and did it calmly and consistently.  Was a brilliant session.  But the repercussions of this simple lesson has to be more than learning about driving at a distance.  It has to be learning how to teach and for Balthazar, learning how to learn; with trust and without being emotional.

No riding today.  So that every time I go into the paddockand put a halter on him he doesn't think it's groundwork or riding, I often take him out for 'pick'.  He appreciates the lush green grass we find.  Interesting today for I clicked him up to move him on to another patch without putting any pressure on the line.  He was a bit sluggish first time and very quick the second time.  It was the reward of going to another greener patch which worked as the reward.  The click and bridge was my kissing him up to move.  He does know 'kissing' means move but when he's rewarded with fresher pick it was rewarding (to me) to watch with what alacrity he moved the second time.  Who says horses are dumb?

Have adopted the Parelli NH as a method to forge a working relationship with Balthazar.  Part of forging that relationship is getting over my reluctance to do anything whatsoever with him, thinking that it is morally wrong to ride a horse.  Perhaps it is.  Perhaps it isn't but if I am going to ride I have to take as a working, believeable hypothesis that riding horses IS acceptable and can even be a pleasureable experience. 

I've been doing some ground work and have ridden a little.  Today we puddled around the arena.  Worked on subtlety.  He's just learning how to interpret the requests from one rein.  Combining one rein riding with body and weight position so we will eventually be able to be ridden without a bridle is a possible goal.    We broke these exercises up with passenger riding although I did not attempt trotting.  We only trotted while one rein riding.  We also backed up.  Found that backing up with one rein didn't work as I thought it would.  If I framed him between two reins we got a straight back.  If I used one rein, the right for instance, and thought his hindquarters who go left, he didn't....or was it the other way.  Only tried a couple of times and quit because he was becoming unhappy.  Until I have it clear in my own head; how I'm going to ask and what to expect, best to leave it alone.

It was an illuminating 20 minutes.  I had to really listen, to ask with the smallest amount of 'noise' and give Balthazar time to answer.  If it got it wrong everything fell apart.  I'd have to use both reins for which sin was answered with head tossing.  If I was really subtle and patient and observant we got some really nice moves.  I am tring to build a relationship based on humility.  The humility of knowing that I know very little about him at the same time as I know he has to trust me and follow my lead.  I've seen what Balthazar turns into when I don't lead well enough; an ear pinning, tail swishing, hindleg lifting threatening-to-kick bully.

I was very delicate while grooming him.  Super gentle with the body brush, not very effective for cleaning but effective in keeping him happy.  Something Linda Parelli said in one of the magazines lent me by Peter hit home.  Paraphrased she said some of us groom our horses as though we were cleaning a wall.  That's me.  So focussd on grooming for cleanliness that I ignore the signs that Balthazar finds it and me annoying.  So today we did as LP suggested and groomed with love.  We didn't entirely avoid the ear pinning and chest biting but the incidence of it was dramatically less. 

Short sessions that are comprised of good work is my goal.  What's the point of shlepping around for 40 minutes if your horse isn't *with* you and everything you attempt is only half done or done with reluctance.  I'm not using carrots for treats anymore but am using voice, a pat (which may or not mean anything to Balthazar) and time outs.  Watched for chewing as a sign that he'd mulled things over.  Have read that some reasearch indicates chewing as a stess response.  I can't go there.  I have to be selectively blind for if chewing is a stress response and I'm doing stuff then waiting for that chew than I am intentionally putting stress on Balthazar.  So we will do short intense, in that I am trying to be precise in my communication and precise in my observations, sessions and quit on a happy note - like we did today!

One rein and passenger riding in the arena yesterday.  The one rein riding was pretty abysmal to start.  Used the right rein.  Turning right was easy, turning left was impossible.  Poor Balthazar became frustrated with the confusing signals and would break into a trot reasoning I suppose that he might be able to run away from that annoying and unintelligible pressure.  We are of course riding in a homemade bitless bridle so even if I tried too hard and the pressure became more than a suggestion no harm was done.  Actually if it didn't work I was pretty quick to give it away.  More doesn't necessarily equal better communication.

But we continued.  Remembered to use my weight, to place the rein high up on his neck so that the communication was in broad strokes and also asked him to bend around my left leg as normal.  I was too focussed on the rein and forgot that there were these other ways to communicate.  By the end of the session we were much better.  Not smooth, not perfect but at least we were turning.

The passenger riding was fun.  Did a lot of walking to start.  Normally Balthazar would high tail  it to the end nearest the horses and hover there but he just kept walking from one end  of the arena to the other.  Walking with good animation too which was nice.  He wasn't trailing along like he was bored or disinterested.  He showed no desire to go outside of the arena unless I specifically asked him.  When we started trotting he thought he'd have a little head toss and head down (preparing to buck perhaps?) but I said 'None of that!' in a firm voice and he quit.  Was a little nervous in case he decided to jump the electrical poles which form the arena, as that would also be an invitation to buck, but he never tried, he just kept turning before he got to them.  It was good practice for me to ride in as balanced a manner as possible and to be alert to any nuance in weight shift so that I could be with him rather than get in his way. 

Today I went out to the paddock and approached him.  Stopped about 15 feet away and he came to me.  This makes me so happy.  It wasn't so long ago that, although he always let me catch him, it was on sufferance and because I had a carrot.  Although he doesn't always walk to meet me or companion walk with me in the morning or act like my best buddy in a consistent way, there is a spark of a connection which was missing before.  So today he came to meet me, I slipped the halter on and took him out to graze on the lush green grass on the side of the road for half an hour.

Another lovely thing is when I release him either at the end of riding or groundwork or at the end of a session of grazing, he doesn't race back to the others.  He hangs around to see what I'm doing and eventually ambles off in a relaxed and casual manner.   I've written this before but it's worth mentioning again.  In all my years of riding I lost track of the unadulterated and simple joy of just being with the horses.  It's taken me all this time to discover it again.

The Horse, the Dead Calf and the Dingo

The Hello Ritual is alive and well. Every morning I go into the peach paddock to open the gate into the dam paddock. If I've rugged anyone I remove the rugs, say hello, have a quick look to make sure nothing untoward has happened overnight then let them out. In the winter the horses are usually standing side on to the sun, waiting like lizards to warm up after a frosty night.

This morning I did my usual, walking forward until someone looks away and then retreating, then taking another step or two forward until I can smell noses with the nearest horse. Today I placed myself roughly in the center of the group and just stood with them like I too was waiting for the first rays of sunlight. After a minute or so Pagan walked over to greet me followed by Balthazar. It sounds so simple but it was really touching.

We went for a ride on DGR. Some trotting, a little canter. Still having trouble with the darn booties. The offside front twists as does the nearside back. Thought the problem was solved with the inclusion of the pads. Unfortunately it isn't. Otherwise they are perfect. He doesn't feel the stones, is surefooted, and the extra padding will surely help with concussion on hard surfaces.

We had to pass a dead calf. This orphan calf was on his own for weeks, very wormy, rough coated and lonely. He joined up with two other calves that frequent the road although their mothr (they're twins) is in one of the paddocks. But he didn't stay with them. Then I saw him near his owner's house. The owner knew about him. We made sure he knew. Thought all would be well. But the day before yesterday there he was dead in the grass on the verge. The owner, thinking one of our fast driving neighbours had hit him, pulled his carcass onto the road. If he'd gone to that much trouble when the calf was alive...

So Balthazar was on his toes when he saw this dark red and white lump laying in the dirt. He could probably smell it too. I just kept grazing him forward until he was relaxed enough and near enough that we just walked past. On the return trip he got a little excited and rushed past. Wasn't hard to pull him up once we were past.

I started this blog yesterday and now it's today and I've just come in from the most delightful morning ritual. I stood with the horses again then left them to stand in the sun (all three of them had ventured forth to rub noses with me so to speak). It was 1 degree this morning and after feeding the birds I was stiff with cold. Balthazar followed me into the sun, actually left the others and came to stand with me. He mouthed my scarf but not like how he used to when we were c/t-ing. It was a friendly gesture. We shared breath. I cuddled him, wrapping my arm around his head and he didn't object. On the contrary I'm sure he knew where that cuddle came from. It was beautiful. I laugh a lot with him now, not forced but bubbling up because he's so funny. When he started to walk towards the gate I companion walked with him.

Yesterday I got him out of the paddock, groomed him and then took him for a pick. The idea is that every time I come to get him doesn't mean work. He was fine with being caught, made faces while I groomed him and thoroughly enjoyed the grazing. We went across the road where that delicious vine horses love grows in profusion. While we were there a dingo started howling. It was close. It was sad. Such a lonely sound. Because it sounded so close we walked up the first rise to see if I could see it. We were standing there, well, I was standing, Balthazar was eating when I saw the dingo come out of the bush, through the fence, scramble down a nearly vertical face of eroded dirt where the road was cut through, all this with a hurt left hind leg which it held off the ground. It didn't even glance toward us but turned south on the pavement and headed down the hill. I assume it was after the water in the creek.

Went for a ride yesterday. Did some of the Parelli games first with the saddle on. He was good. Don't know that we'll ever get past the ear pinning when he's being saddled, when his chest is touched or he's being rugged or unrugged. Even this morning, when I was unclipping the leg straps, without touching him, he pinned his ears. Sometimes I make him move his feet. Other times I think, well, that's just him and don't bother. Suppose I should be consistent in asking him to move his feet. He doesn't have to move far, just a step or two but I do notice after I've asked him his expression is more benign.

At any rate, took him up the back on Curtin's three tiered hill. We only went up the first two as it's steep and Balthazar is unfit. We took frequent breaks and only walked and as it was cool and the air dry I wasn't very concerned that he'd tie up. He might be a little sore this morning. I am.

When we returned, because it was too cool to hose him down I tried to groom out the sweat marks. Gave him some hay. When I wasn't with him he was pacing at the gate and nickering for his paddock mates. When I was with him he was quite happy to eat the hay. The best part of the ride, in a way, was afterwards. It was lovely just spending time with him, squatting in front of him and handing him the choicest bits of hay. Reminded me of when I was a horsemad girl. I didn't overthink things then. I just wanted to be with horses. Somewhere along the way I lost that simple pleasure. I read too much, competed too much, demanded too much, of both myself and the poor horse. Now, in my approaching dotage, I am discovering again the simple pleasures of being with or on a horse.

I didn't worry whether Balthazar was tracking straight yesterday. I didn't care much if he kept strictly to the path or whether he was bent or not bent, stiff or not stiff on his off side. I, we, just enjoyed the view, the wide sky and the rolling brown hills. Even Balthazar looked. What does he think when he gazes into the distance, at hills several kilometres away?

On the way home he head tossed a couple of times and broke into a trot a couple of times but on the whole he was marvelous.

We had some trouble with the back foot booties. They twisted. I put the pads in the front ones and they stayed put but the back ones, especially the near side turned, even up to 90 degrees. Have to trim the pads to get them to fit.

Realized with the padding of the booties plus the padding of the pad inserts I'll be able to trot and canter him on hard ground, something I've been wary of before. The booties grip well and he doesn't seem to lose any surefootedness wearing them.

Have had another session with Rebel at Peter's. My mistakes with him help me with Balthazar. My successes with balthazar perhaps help with Rebel. I'm not sure. Rebel is another OTTB, like Balthazar. He reminds me a bit of Balthazar. He knows the drill, knows how to be polite, to do what is asked, but he's not really THERE. Hard to keep his attention - and when he's had enough or is confused or anxious, he tends to just loom into my space so that no action is possible, my field of vision is filled with chestnut horse. But that's another problem. Another post.

Today I worked with Balthazar. We both did really well with some of the 7 games, particularly the driving game which we did so abysmally at Peter's. I'm not asking for a complete circle, that he tries and does so well for 1/4 or half a circle is plenty at the moment. For some reason, Balthazar just seems a different horse. Perhaps because I'm doing a better job but I suspect it has more to do with distance from Clicker Training. Terrible thing, I know. I still believe in c/t - just not for Balthazar. Still divided a little - philosophically speaking - about the ethics of using pressure to get a horse to do things but am muddling along nevertheless.

So we did the driving and porcupine game, some backing and then I took him out to the front paddock where I had placed two 20 litre drums to use as focal points for figure 8 practice. He did very very well. Once he got the idea he was terrific. Did notice some ear pinning during the change of direction in the middle. Not sure why but reminded me of how he used to pin his ears when we did fast direction changes a few years ago.

Also asked him to circle and step over the dressage arena log barrier. Once he understood what I was asking for he showed some energy and enthusiam. Rather than walking over it he jumped. Quit then and took him for a leisurely pick. Very proud of him. Happy too as the feeling I get from *us* is more relaxed, more natural, perhaps because I'm *doing* rather than overthinking things.

Didn't ride but took Balthazar out for some pick out of sight of the other horses. He wanted to return to them but wasn't anxious so it is already becoming 'old hat'. Did some parelli stuff. Interesting in that he circled with energy without me asking for extra of same. Had all four feet booted up. He was fine about that but the offside front one spun on the hoof twice and had to be restrapped. Not happy about that. Will try with pads in and if that doesn't work put the hind boots on the front as they are a size smaller. The knee is almost normal.

Had our first ride at home. Balthazar was agitated at being separated from his buddies. His knee was much improved but the ride was more about going out and coming back rather than riding. He was good, hesitant at first to walk down the road but once we got going he walked out well - more from nervousness than any desire to go anywhere but we'll accept what we can get.

Before that however we had to get through the trauma of grooming and tacking up. He was so upset that he forgot I was standing nearby and bumped into me. Had to remind him that he did have to mind hismanners a little bit even if he was upset. Took him into the paddock for a bit of parelli work. Took awhile to get his attention but we did get it in the end. We even did a fairly competent version of the Falling Leaf exercise. Having worked through a few of the exercises, he was more settled and easier to handle.

Only rode up to the old house, now the home of Cooper the very large Bull Arab cross, who barked, if his deep cavernous Woof! could be labelled a bark, as we approached. I got off Balthazar hoping he would have a pick but he was too anxious. Returned home, had to circle him twice as he wasn't listening and getting worked up but all in all a very satisfactory ride.

First ride

So much for that invitation to ride. I've ridden Balthazar three times this week. Took him up to Peter's on Monday. Peter gave us some lessons in Parelli's Seven Games in The Playpen. Let me tell you about The Playpen. Peter has gone to a great deal of trouble and created a Parelli Paradise. He has caveletti, he has a tractor tire pedestal, he has a float ramp complete with flapping tarp roof and pink horse ball and painted breast bar. He has log jumps, barrel jumps and a water jump. Witches hats abound and every piece of equipment has been gaily painted. There is a huge squishy lime green Parelli ball and hot pink Tibetan prayer flags. The Playpen connects to the round yard with zen raked white gravel. Peter has put much time and effort into creating the perfect Parelli horse training environment.

This was the milieu Balthazar was led into on Monday morning. He recognized Jack and Emmy immediately. We left them to settle and went and had a coffee. Afterwards Peter took us through a few of the seven games. Weaknesses were discovered, differences explained and at the end, when we'd both been mentally stimulated, I put the Easy Boots (herein referred to as the booties) on Balthazar's feet. He was pretty good. The front ones he got used to fairly quickly. He never quite relaxed about the hind ones but was okay. I chose to remove the hind booties for our ride. We rode around The Playpen at first. Balthazar was fine. Then we headed out for a saunter up to Picnic Hill and back. I was a little scared. Balthazar's back came up beneath me and he was agitated; head tossing and trying to break into a faster gait, something I wasn't prepared to do. But we made it to the top without incident. Really, after more than 2 years of not being ridden, he did well.

On the return trip, things took a turn for the worse. He tossed his head, something he did on the way up the hill but on the way down it was constant, as was the wanting to jig jog. Again, his back was up beneath me and it seemed that it would take a very small spark to incite a major conflagration. I know Balthazar can buck. Wanted to avoid that if possible. We circled and circled and circled. Once his feet stopped moving I would let the rein go. I was riding in a bitless bridle but could still instigate the one rein 'stop'. Seemed every two or three steps I was having to circle him. At the very end, when we reached the old house, the other horses came galloping up to the fence. That was too much, I bailed. Balthazar had grown from 16 to 18 hands. Walked him into The Playpen, got on and rode him around. He was fine then, calm and focussed.

On Tuesday I went up again. Balthazar and I didn't do very well the previous day with yielding the forequarter to the left. I was positioned in the wrong spot, asking in the wrong way and getting circles instead of turns on the hindquarter. I was also getting frustrated. Peter tactfully suggested we move on to something else. Anyway, on the Tuesday we tried again and were much better. We also tried the Falling Leaf pattern in which the horse does half circles in front of you as you walk and we attempted figure 8's around two cones. It was all very calm and nurturing, much better than the day before. I didn't say anything but at one point when Peter was helping me he lightly smacked Balthazar on Monday to wake him up and get him to give. I didn't like that. We don't do that anymore. Not the end of the world but I'm grateful it was just the one instance as I didn't want to have to say anything. At any rate, the second day was much nicer. We rode out and although there was some head tossing, Balthazar was a different horse. So much so that I got off him before we returned to the yards. I'd always done that, stemming back from endurance days when getting off 5 or 10 minutes before arriving allowed blood flow to return to the area under the saddle. It's also a nice reward to get off, loosen the girth, run the stirrups up and walk beside your horse homeward.

One bad thing on Tuesday; while Peter and I were at the house for smoko, Balthazar was working himself into a frenzy because Emmy wasn't with him and managed to slice his leg open just below the knee. Only a surface cut although there was much blood. It is still swollen today but he's not lame and it's a clean wound.

Also had a play with Peter's tb mare Gypsy. She was horsing and consequently was a little obstreperous and squealy. She also had Peter's number and rang him down. He was scared of her and all she had to do was pin her ears or squeal or even make a move into his space to unnerve him. I don't blame him for being scared. I'm scared much of the time but as a bystander I could see what was going on. I took her in hand and after a few complaints she was good.

We ended up putting the saddle on her. I bellied up on her and as she didn't do anything so I sat astride her. Still nothing. Right, I said, your turn, Peter. And he did. I was very proud of him. He got on and she behaved impeccably. We left it at that.

Didn't go Wednesday but returned yesterday. Peter had a little play with Gypsy that he was pleased with and I had a play with Balthazar - ditto. After we'd worked them for awhile I suggested we take them out for a pick. After they'd eaten we tacked them up and went for another walk. Peter accompanied us parallel to their driveway. I would ride Balthazar down the 6km and meet Richard with the float at the bottom. Balthazar whinnied when Peter and Emmy turned back for home but did nothing else. He shouted a few times but kept moving. He did get somewhat excited when we did finally reach the bottom and I got off him but loaded beautifully.

So that's the story. I've ridden him and now only need to keep it up. No riding today as it's raining but perhaps tomorrow. Have made arrangements with Peter that I will go up on Thursdays to play with either Rebel, his other thoroughbred, or Gypsy while he plays with the other. The thing to do is to keep the momentum and motivation going. I've got John Curtin's property to ride through again so even though I have lost much of the riding trails I used to enjoy I still have two close to home that I can use.

Fed all the horses hay last night. Balthazar had lost a little weight while he was away I thought. Because he was so anxious to be reunited with Dakota and Pagan, I didn't try and clean him up from the ride but just turned him loose. So while he was eating hay I hand groomed him to work out most of the dirt and sticky sweat. He pinned his ears a little when I worked on his chest but he seemed okay with it overall. This morning he, after initially turning his head away when I greeted him, walked over to say hello. Very very happy with that.

Took Balthazar out of the paddock yesterday. It was late morning. Gave him a quick brush being mindful of his ticklish areas. That mindfulness was rewarded with very little ear pinning and sour expressions. I placed him in the middle of the yard rather than at the gate so we could start practicing ground tying or just staying where he's put. If he moved a foot I gently moved him back. He wanted to go to the gate leading to the other horses. Persevered without a big noise about it. Then I took him out to the road to graze. He was on his toes because Dakota was yelling for him so it was kind of a snatch and chew rather than a relaxed munch. Kept him out there until he relaxed a little then took him back and turned him loose with the others. They were waiting for him in the yards so he didn't have to go racing off. But that pent up energy had to come out. He stood at the entrance to the paddocks with the others behind him for awhile then raced down the hill.

This morning he walked away from me when I tried to say hello. I'm getting a little disheartened again. I didn't know any of this stuff when I was endurance riding. The bond I built up with Drifter and Keziah, even Dakota, was one of bum time in the saddle. We spent so many hours together some kind of relationship had to form. Looks like we are going to Peter's on Monday for our Parelli 7 games lesson. I am going to get on Balthazar then. Have that first ride then, depending upon how it went, carry on at home. He'll pin his ears and look cranky and not like it very much but he'll get used to it. It will become routine, or 'Old Hat' as Tom Roberts would say. That's why I need to get him out of the paddock again today. Just so that he knows when he's removed from the company of his buddies he will be returned to them as well.

I either have to make up my mind to ride and do things to and with him that he won't like (being ridden, taken away from his buddies) or give up riding forever as a moral and ethical decision. That's the crux of the matter. Do I have the moral right to subject another living creature to my will? Guess I'll find out.