The Joy of Riding. Found.

Just checked to see that the preceding post was actually the last post written.  Have been riding consistently but not writing it up.  Not that there's anything to write about.  We've been riding the hills, discovering new tracks or making old tracks rideable again ( have the bruises to prove it, earned by breaking through lantana bushes). 

Looked through the collection of Parelli CDs mailed to me and realized I haven't looked at about 5 of them.  Yes, the gloss has gone off the Parelli method.  Nothing wrong with it but lack of motivation from me.  I'm riding again and enjoying the riding,  Part of that enjoyment is because we're not training.  I became so focussed on improving whatever we were working on whether it was getting fit for endurance, being on the bit for dressage  or finally the Parelli method that it wasn't fun anymore.

Having a goal is nice but when I rode as a kid it was the joy of riding that satisfied.  Just being on a horse's back, being carried by these magnificent creatures was enough.  Somehow I lost that with adulthood.  I shed tears of frustration,  fought back anger and beat myself up all for the sake of training, all for the *love* of horses. 

Something is dreadfully wrong with that picture.  Now I ride and if Balthazar gets a bit above himself, I bail.  I have a few tools in my toolbox and 40 years of riding to help overcome problems but not being in training has solved the problems.  In fact there is no problem.  I'm laughing again when I ride.  Singing too (Balthazar doesn't mind).  It's fun again and it hasn't been fun for years.  I look forward to riding rather than dreading yet another confrontation and/or failed session. 

That's important enough to repeat.  I look forward to riding again.  It's not a slog, it's not a lesson, it's not something to be got through, it's not a clash of personalities, it's not an illustration of how much a failure I am as a human being, much less a horseperson.  I don't care if he tracks straight or not.  I don't care if he's bent like a banana to the left (hollow left, stiff right), I don't care if he doesn't always pick up the correct  lead.  I do care that he stops and goes when asked.  I do care that he doesn't run away when he sees me coming with the halter.  I do care that he has the fitness to roam these hills comfortably.  I do care that he, despite being a thoroughbred, has enough nimbleness of foot to be surefooted on rocky trails.  I do care that stopping while he has a pick and I soak up Nature is a common and happy occurrence. 

I'm grateful to Parelli (and Peter) for getting me riding again but I don't think I'll renew my membership.  I have no desire to get to level 4 (or level 2 for that matter!), to ride bareback and bridleless or to get Balthazar working at liberty.  It'd be nice to have that result but I'd rather just hang out with him.  And isn't that what the love of horses is all about?  I lost it and now I've found it again. 

Hardly worth writing here as I'm doing no Parelli stuff at all, only riding.  I waver between being inspired and working with the exercises and not giving a stuff and just getting out there and enjoying the riding.  Have ridden most of my life without benefit of Parelli  so it's not as though I'm lost without it.  Anyway. 

Today we finally went up Wayne's Mountain.  The land has been sold so wanted to explore it before it changed hands.  The new owners (have met them) will probably allow me to ride their land but it's never the same - like tromping through someone's living room at will. 

At any rate, I dismounted and walked beside him.  It was a  long steep climb and as Balthazar isn't fit (and he was already puffing) it didn't seem fair to ask him to slog up this never ending hill with me on his back. 

It was brigalow country.  We followed the outside curve of the mountain then tacked into trees and rocks and no grasses.  Long inviting views on a level with other mountains.  Felt very far away from civilization.  Nice time with Balthazar.   Don't know whether he appreciated me walking with him rather than riding him. 

Rode along a fenceline on an animal track.  No cattle are in this paddock so it was more a wallaby track we followed.  As it narrowed and the bush closed in we had no choice but to turn around.  Dismounted for the descent.  That was the only time my treeless saddle has been less than perfect.  Could've used a crupper as it started to slide over his withers.  Because the track was slippery with loose gravel it was easier to walk down beside him.  As it was, even on this cold day, he was completely soaked with sweat.  Gave him a hose and a flake of lucerne.  Will give him tomorrow off.  Was a pretty big day for him.

Learning Parelli-ism isn't just about accruing skills it seems, but also about divesting myself of that which is no longer useful.   First thing to go has to be emotion. Not attaching importance to success or failure but just observing what is happening and adjusting accordingly.  We haven't *failed* if we don't do it correctly.  I just haven't made myself clear or my timing is off or something equally innocuous - and as fixable.  It was very freeing, exhilarating actually, to not be emotionally attached to the result.  Worked on driving at a distance and found big holes in his understanding.  I thought we had it.  It didn't matter because we worked on it until he stopped being *emotional*, thought about it, got it and did it calmly and consistently.  Was a brilliant session.  But the repercussions of this simple lesson has to be more than learning about driving at a distance.  It has to be learning how to teach and for Balthazar, learning how to learn; with trust and without being emotional.

Went for a ride yesterday. Did some of the Parelli games first with the saddle on. He was good. Don't know that we'll ever get past the ear pinning when he's being saddled, when his chest is touched or he's being rugged or unrugged. Even this morning, when I was unclipping the leg straps, without touching him, he pinned his ears. Sometimes I make him move his feet. Other times I think, well, that's just him and don't bother. Suppose I should be consistent in asking him to move his feet. He doesn't have to move far, just a step or two but I do notice after I've asked him his expression is more benign.

At any rate, took him up the back on Curtin's three tiered hill. We only went up the first two as it's steep and Balthazar is unfit. We took frequent breaks and only walked and as it was cool and the air dry I wasn't very concerned that he'd tie up. He might be a little sore this morning. I am.

When we returned, because it was too cool to hose him down I tried to groom out the sweat marks. Gave him some hay. When I wasn't with him he was pacing at the gate and nickering for his paddock mates. When I was with him he was quite happy to eat the hay. The best part of the ride, in a way, was afterwards. It was lovely just spending time with him, squatting in front of him and handing him the choicest bits of hay. Reminded me of when I was a horsemad girl. I didn't overthink things then. I just wanted to be with horses. Somewhere along the way I lost that simple pleasure. I read too much, competed too much, demanded too much, of both myself and the poor horse. Now, in my approaching dotage, I am discovering again the simple pleasures of being with or on a horse.

I didn't worry whether Balthazar was tracking straight yesterday. I didn't care much if he kept strictly to the path or whether he was bent or not bent, stiff or not stiff on his off side. I, we, just enjoyed the view, the wide sky and the rolling brown hills. Even Balthazar looked. What does he think when he gazes into the distance, at hills several kilometres away?

On the way home he head tossed a couple of times and broke into a trot a couple of times but on the whole he was marvelous.

We had some trouble with the back foot booties. They twisted. I put the pads in the front ones and they stayed put but the back ones, especially the near side turned, even up to 90 degrees. Have to trim the pads to get them to fit.

Realized with the padding of the booties plus the padding of the pad inserts I'll be able to trot and canter him on hard ground, something I've been wary of before. The booties grip well and he doesn't seem to lose any surefootedness wearing them.

Didn't ride but took Balthazar out for some pick out of sight of the other horses. He wanted to return to them but wasn't anxious so it is already becoming 'old hat'. Did some parelli stuff. Interesting in that he circled with energy without me asking for extra of same. Had all four feet booted up. He was fine about that but the offside front one spun on the hoof twice and had to be restrapped. Not happy about that. Will try with pads in and if that doesn't work put the hind boots on the front as they are a size smaller. The knee is almost normal.

Had our first ride at home. Balthazar was agitated at being separated from his buddies. His knee was much improved but the ride was more about going out and coming back rather than riding. He was good, hesitant at first to walk down the road but once we got going he walked out well - more from nervousness than any desire to go anywhere but we'll accept what we can get.

Before that however we had to get through the trauma of grooming and tacking up. He was so upset that he forgot I was standing nearby and bumped into me. Had to remind him that he did have to mind hismanners a little bit even if he was upset. Took him into the paddock for a bit of parelli work. Took awhile to get his attention but we did get it in the end. We even did a fairly competent version of the Falling Leaf exercise. Having worked through a few of the exercises, he was more settled and easier to handle.

Only rode up to the old house, now the home of Cooper the very large Bull Arab cross, who barked, if his deep cavernous Woof! could be labelled a bark, as we approached. I got off Balthazar hoping he would have a pick but he was too anxious. Returned home, had to circle him twice as he wasn't listening and getting worked up but all in all a very satisfactory ride.

Sharing Territory

Took my little 3 legged collapsible stool into the Geldings Paddock to Share Territory with the boys. Balthazar came over to check me out and walked toward me another time before veering off (in a leisurely fashion) but it was valuable nevertheless. As they worked their way around the paddock I'd pick up my stool and relocate. Looking at the surrounding hills from a different vantage point was lovely. I've walked in that paddock many times but haven't just stopped and looked around, except in a cursory way. Spending time with nothing to do but look was calming - just as I was supposed to be during this Sharing of Territory.

After feeding up I let Balthazar out of the stall and he immediately joined the others. I did a little hand waving to move him away which he ignored. To get my energy up and get some movement I jumped in the air and clapped my hands. He moved and then did a bit of a companion walk with me. But it was after I stopped *trying* so hard that we had the best interaction. He came over and put his head in my chest again for a head rub.

Let the others out and I led them to the front paddock. Pagan was the best Companion Walker. He followed me with only one small deviation to the mugga ironbark. He even walked across the electrical poles to stay with me. Balthazar waited in the yards for a while and then joined us. Tried to encourage a trot from the horses by trotting and *cantering* myself but didn't get a response. When the others tired of the game, Balthazar was still *with* me. It was lovely, just lovely, to hug and kiss them all goodnight in the fading light. Felt like a child again when it was enough to be around horses without expectations.

Have to say the difference between working with Balthazar with c/t and the Waterhole Ritual - or whatever this is that I'm trying to do, bonding with Balthazar on his terms (mostly) is as different as salt and pepper. We're both relaxed. We're communiating. It is more a conversation than a declamatory monologue by me. He's happier and so am I.

Peter has sent me a link to a video clip of a horse before and after Parelli (a Parelli makeover I think it was called). I do think the Parelli method works, that it is effective and has helped thousands of horses and their owners to find a common ground. But still, there is something about it that is not quite the fit, for me, that I'm looking for. I remember the Faulkner clinics I attended. There were times, quite a few times, when Balthazar or I were stressed. Me being stressed is one thing, usually brought about because I don't know what I'm doing and get nervous about failing in front of evryone, but having Balthazar nervous is another kettle of fish altogether. How can anyone learn when they are stressed or frightened or both? I think going back to basic communication *on his terms* is something that will form a bond that we've never had before. I see signs of it already.

I know I am the chameleon of change in some ways, although I certainly gave c/t a long and best shot before giving it up. It's just that I'm on a quest to find the most successful and, for want of a better word, spiritual path upon which Balthazar and I may walk together. Using force, which I am wont to do because of my short attention span and impatience (something I am trying to counteract with yoga and meditation), is the easy way, the way I often take. I don't want that anymore. I want to be a better person and a better horseowner.

5

Yards. Liberty. two sessions 5 and 5 minutes? Didn't look at the time. Remembered to cue the word Down when he put his head down. He's definitely got the head down. Unfortunately he was backing not just rocking back when he put his head down. Have to slow myself down to try and refine it, especially now that he's doing it so well. The cue he doesn't have although I think he's starting to understand.

I worked him then put the halter on and groomed him. When I finished I rugged him. He always makes a face and threatens to nip when I'm doing up the chest strap. I slowed down and scratched around his ears while I did it, well, not actually while I did it but around the time. When I say slow down it's not like I'm rushing putting on his rug but I really did it slowly, watching his face and stopping when he wasn't happy, scratching his ears until he looked soft and then carrying on.

Went and cut some more carrots and then tried the wwylm exercise, again at liberty. This was when he started offering head down when i was trying to get him to walk with me. Head down and reverse so that I couldn't even see him unless i turned around. I was remiss and not careful so that before I knew it he was very sexually excited. Got a little sticky for I wanted to reward him for head down, which seemed to quell the excitement yesterday but I was too late and he was practially on top of me.

The wwylm exercise was more successful when he was on my right, not so much on the left. Toward the end he was getting it and staying with me while I walked. He even took a step back when I did which was nice. Dakota used to do that very well. I don't want to confuse him with too many exercises but think it's nice to work on at least two different things to break things up. When I say he was walking with me, we were only doing a step at a time. And again, sometimes he was overwhelmed and switching off.

The training of me is more important than training Balthazar. So much to watch for, so much to remember, so much to retain so that I can attempt to bring the strands together successfully.

Watched two short videos Peter lent me of Parelli stuff. Confirmed to me that I'm on the right track. It may take a very long time but there will be no coercion, no swatting of a horse's rump with a rope as I saw in one of them. I can see the benefits of body position and communication through the body, the use of the rope to communicate but I am definitely over trying to be alpha horse in the herd which I think is the whole premise. The first video had the horse taking a break from work at a witch's hat. Work the horse and he learns that he can stop if he's at the witches hat. Wouldn't it be nicer that the horse works and gets a nice reward at the end?