Rode Balthazar for the first time in over two months today.  He turns 17 this year.  With age comes wisdom and experience, right?  No!  We have separation anxiety issues, we have spooking issues, we have jig jog issues.  But for a first ride on Friday the 13th, we made it home intact.  It will just take bum in the saddle time, consistency and the ability to remain calm despite the huge golden orb spiders poised to be worn as face jewelry on the riding tracks.  Screaming and leaping about in the saddle is not conducive to a calm horse. 

Also he's hot and excitable as he's grain fed.  At this time of year the green panic seeds are thick and the horses mow them down.  It happens every summer.  He's a hot thoroughbred anyway but with all the grain, he's molten!

Baucher, Bridle Lameness and Evasion

For a very long time now I have ridden the hills and tracks and not done any arena work.  I became disenchanted with Parelli - not because of anything inherently wrong with it but because it's just not my 'thing' after a certain point.  I still use it in that when Balthazar tries to dominate by pinning his ears and trying to nip (he never really does, don't think he's got it in him to actually bite), I make him move his feet.  No reason to smack him or yell just make him move his feet.  Afterwards he's polite and tractable without being cowed or frightened. 

But this past week I've started working in the arena every other day or so.  Only 15 or 20 minutes at a time.  No big deal (which is a helpful mindset for me.  If it becomes a Big Deal then I've set myself up for stress and trying too hard which is Not the way to work with Balthazar). 

Was looking at his physique.  He's irridescent, beautifully shiny, well covered, but his musculature isn't as I'd like.  He's fit to run around the hills and trot and canter in a straight line but I'd like to see more topline development.  Also Balthazar is 17 and would benefit from some horse yoga (read classical dressage).

Have become interested in Baucher through Nuno Oliveira and the French method through Andre Jousseaume and his book Progressive Dressage which I happen to have.

One of the hurdles Balthazar and I have is his Pretty Pony outline.  When I rode him in a bit (French Snaffle), he'd prettily bend his neck and trot around the arena seemingly with perfect obedience.   Except of course, he was behind the bit, never on it.  He never 'gave' himself.  Therefore if something spooked him or he didn't want to do something I had an explosive out of control  horse beneath me.  He'd learned to hide behind a pretty outline.

Horses are smart like that.  When I offer him a drink before grooming and tacking up he's learned that if he stands with his mouth touching the water he can get another minute or so before he has to start work.  Same with the arched neck.  He looks lovely, he's doing what is asked so he's pretty much left alone. 

Today was the first time I felt confident (through my practice of yoga funnily enough) to begin to tackle the issue. 

Balthazar has always been bridle lame.  I have never ever been hard on his mouth and now that I ride (and have for a couple of years now) in a bitless bridle the excuse of pain in his mouth doesn't exist.  It's something he learned years ago that I've always just lived with.  I've been asking him to walk forward with gusto.  That's been an interesting exercise because he either breaks into a trot (with a bent neck) or refuses to walk faster.  When he finally does submit and walk freely forward I reward him and give him a break.  We'll keep on with that but what truly illustrated how sucked back he was was asking him to just take contact at the halt.

The lightest of contacts with my legs on.  We went backwards.  We went sideways.  We had head tossing, lots and lots of head tossing.  We had everything but the lightest of contacts. 

I called him out.  It was a real fight.  There was no pain, no kicking or yanking or anything but a relentless asking with my legs into a receiving hand.  Finally, FINALLY, he gave in.  Asked a couple of more times then quit for the day.

This is something we'll have to repeat again and again I'm sure.  Which is okay.  We have to start somewhere.  He has to learn that he must do as he's asked and that I won't hurt him if he does.  Quite exciting actually as we're, after all these years, finally facing the root problem straight on.

The Joy of Riding. Found.

Just checked to see that the preceding post was actually the last post written.  Have been riding consistently but not writing it up.  Not that there's anything to write about.  We've been riding the hills, discovering new tracks or making old tracks rideable again ( have the bruises to prove it, earned by breaking through lantana bushes). 

Looked through the collection of Parelli CDs mailed to me and realized I haven't looked at about 5 of them.  Yes, the gloss has gone off the Parelli method.  Nothing wrong with it but lack of motivation from me.  I'm riding again and enjoying the riding,  Part of that enjoyment is because we're not training.  I became so focussed on improving whatever we were working on whether it was getting fit for endurance, being on the bit for dressage  or finally the Parelli method that it wasn't fun anymore.

Having a goal is nice but when I rode as a kid it was the joy of riding that satisfied.  Just being on a horse's back, being carried by these magnificent creatures was enough.  Somehow I lost that with adulthood.  I shed tears of frustration,  fought back anger and beat myself up all for the sake of training, all for the *love* of horses. 

Something is dreadfully wrong with that picture.  Now I ride and if Balthazar gets a bit above himself, I bail.  I have a few tools in my toolbox and 40 years of riding to help overcome problems but not being in training has solved the problems.  In fact there is no problem.  I'm laughing again when I ride.  Singing too (Balthazar doesn't mind).  It's fun again and it hasn't been fun for years.  I look forward to riding rather than dreading yet another confrontation and/or failed session. 

That's important enough to repeat.  I look forward to riding again.  It's not a slog, it's not a lesson, it's not something to be got through, it's not a clash of personalities, it's not an illustration of how much a failure I am as a human being, much less a horseperson.  I don't care if he tracks straight or not.  I don't care if he's bent like a banana to the left (hollow left, stiff right), I don't care if he doesn't always pick up the correct  lead.  I do care that he stops and goes when asked.  I do care that he doesn't run away when he sees me coming with the halter.  I do care that he has the fitness to roam these hills comfortably.  I do care that he, despite being a thoroughbred, has enough nimbleness of foot to be surefooted on rocky trails.  I do care that stopping while he has a pick and I soak up Nature is a common and happy occurrence. 

I'm grateful to Parelli (and Peter) for getting me riding again but I don't think I'll renew my membership.  I have no desire to get to level 4 (or level 2 for that matter!), to ride bareback and bridleless or to get Balthazar working at liberty.  It'd be nice to have that result but I'd rather just hang out with him.  And isn't that what the love of horses is all about?  I lost it and now I've found it again. 

Yesterday rode for 25 minutes in the arena.  Worked on keeping him relaxed at the same time as requesting timely departs and halts. 

I am feeling my way.  Haven't yet looked at a Linda post about getting a connection with your horse.  Did read that despite a horse doing the 7 games well it's more a going through the motions.  The horse could still be focussed on the other horses or submitting because we've trained them to submit but without a connection.  That's been my *problem* all along.  Horses are smart.  They'll do what needs to be done to get you to leave them alone - but is that what I want from our relationship?  Balthazar submitting with no joy. 

I occasionally get Balthazar from the paddock and take him for pick only, no work.  But it's not every other day or anything like that.  He must know when I'm coming to get him it means work.  Still, like this morning, he usually gives a bit of a nicker (only for the carrot probably) and takes a step toward me.  That's fine by me.  Better than bolting in the opposite direction.

Today we went up Joe's Mountain.  I dismounted and walked up so I wouldn't collect the huge spiders which make their web across the track.  It's such a steep track with *jumps* of rock it wouldn't be fair, mid jump so to speak, to ask Balthazar to halt while I try and avoid one of those huge webs.  Once we cleared the top I mounted up and we explored the newly bulldozed tracks.  Much more relaxed about things.  Me, I mean.  I'm much more relaxed.  So he wants to smell some manure or lick some reddish clay (wonder what trace mineral he's getting from that?  Freya used to have a penchant for licking red clay too, so much so that she looked as though she was wearing badly applied lipstick), I don't have a problem with that - as long as he doesn't do it all the time.  If I feel he's taking liberties I push him on.  He breaks into a trot, that's okay as long as he comes back when asked. 

One of the tracks not cleared by the bulldozer follows the fenceline halfway up the mountain.  It girdles the mountain like a belt around a fat man's belly.   It's can be challenging as the path is very narrow, only a goat track and on the eastern side it falls away sharply so that one misstep could bring us tumbling down. 

It was so overgrown with lantana that I got off and broke branches to clear the way.  Balthazar was a star.  He waited patiently or walked forward when asked without crowding - and it was a tight squeeze for him.  I was very proud of him and proud to call him friend.  That quiet acceptance of being out with me, not fretting for the others, fretting to do something other than be where he was.

On the way down that steep track, again dismounted, I asked him to walk behind me.  There are places where he could walk beside me which he tried to do but if he did that then I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the spiders because I'd be trying to guide him down the safest track.  So I asked, just once, for him to follow rather than walk beside.  And he did.

It was such a lovely quiet uneventful ride.  Felt more like two friends out enjoying a Sunday stroll.  Despite the strolling he is getting a bit fitter, losing some grass belly, not that he had much, and coping better with the up and down geography of the terrain. 

Hardly worth writing here as I'm doing no Parelli stuff at all, only riding.  I waver between being inspired and working with the exercises and not giving a stuff and just getting out there and enjoying the riding.  Have ridden most of my life without benefit of Parelli  so it's not as though I'm lost without it.  Anyway. 

Today we finally went up Wayne's Mountain.  The land has been sold so wanted to explore it before it changed hands.  The new owners (have met them) will probably allow me to ride their land but it's never the same - like tromping through someone's living room at will. 

At any rate, I dismounted and walked beside him.  It was a  long steep climb and as Balthazar isn't fit (and he was already puffing) it didn't seem fair to ask him to slog up this never ending hill with me on his back. 

It was brigalow country.  We followed the outside curve of the mountain then tacked into trees and rocks and no grasses.  Long inviting views on a level with other mountains.  Felt very far away from civilization.  Nice time with Balthazar.   Don't know whether he appreciated me walking with him rather than riding him. 

Rode along a fenceline on an animal track.  No cattle are in this paddock so it was more a wallaby track we followed.  As it narrowed and the bush closed in we had no choice but to turn around.  Dismounted for the descent.  That was the only time my treeless saddle has been less than perfect.  Could've used a crupper as it started to slide over his withers.  Because the track was slippery with loose gravel it was easier to walk down beside him.  As it was, even on this cold day, he was completely soaked with sweat.  Gave him a hose and a flake of lucerne.  Will give him tomorrow off.  Was a pretty big day for him.

Didn't ride for 10 days as I *did* my back.  Rode yesterday and today.  Easing both of us back into it.  Now that he's shod want to get us fit.  Yesterday rode partly up Wayne's Mountain.  Balthazar, poor boy, had that foamy sweat afterwards.  Today, as we've had some rain and the road has a tiny bit of 'give' in it, we walked/trotted to Jackson's Yards and back.  More rain today so more road work tomorrow.  As this rain is unusual for this time of year it won't be long before any trot or canter work can only be done in the arena so while there is the opportunity I intend to take advantage of it.  Otherwise the road is too hard and too concussive.

Saw Peter the other day.  He's going to work with Rebel, hopefully ride him and get him fit too.  Peter has great but somewhat arduous tracks around his property.  Would be lovely to explore them but unfair to do so on unfit horses.  Would like to have Balthazar fit enough to float him over to Spinach Creek and  ride up and meet Peter, do the exploratory ride then return to the float and home.  I've got the tracks here to accomplish that level of fitness. 

Also just need consistent bum time in saddle.  He's alternately antsy (he had a huge spook and spin at some twittery birds in the bushes today) or lazy.  Know from my endurance training days that alot of what's perceived as *wrong* with a horse stems from not spending enough time riding them.  As they get used to being out and about, and none of that out and about time is a big deal, they settle down and become terrific companions. 

Have ridden 4 or 5 times without writing.  Had a really terrible session.  One of the worst feelings to have is shame and after that session I was ashamed of myself.  I lost my temper.  I became hard and predatory and mean.  All because Balthazar would not full pass, under saddle, from left to right, over a witches hat.  Online he would do it, under saddle he'd go backwards or into my left leg instead of yielding away from it.  I got up him in a big way.  He did it finally but he was stressed and afraid.  The very worst elements of me had control.  Me, the part of me I try and cultivate and live by, was subsumed by this impatient, hard and vengeful monster.  Awful awful day.

I waited a day and then had another go.  The humbling thing about horses is that although they remember they always forgive.  Balthazar didn't trust me and why should he?  I had proven myself untrustworthy but it didn't take long before we were back where we had been.  I was very careful, very quiet, very patient and very humbled by him.  Under saddle when he wanted to go backwards I let him.  I even encouraged him (but not in a mean way - the residue of shame, so acidic and painful was still with me).  It worked however.  Balthazar went backwards 10 or 12 steps quite willingly the first time, not so willingly the second time and with head tossing the third time even though he backed with impulsion.  I'd figured him out.  He gave up and went over the witches hat quite readily and has done so a couple of times since. 

Got him shod on Monday and took him out yesterday.  We did the loop through Leroy's, down a portion of Beutel's Rd and back through the paddock.  Unfortunately the track along the fence in the paddock was blocked by a fallen tree.  There was no way to continue, if I didn't want to retrace our steps, but to bush bash through mats of lantana, much of it higher than my head, up a steep hill with Balthazar in tow. 

What a horse.  I had to stop on these steep slopes and break branches so we could get through.  He didn't panic at the close confines (a cougar could've been lurking in the bush, how was he to know?) and didn't climb on top of me either.  We made it through and home without incident.  I was very proud of him even though he was really up on his toes because of the new route.  Will have to do it often enough to a) make it old hat so that he can be relaxed and b) make a good path through the lantana. 

I made him walk the whole way because he was so up and excitable.  Didn't have to fight him to restrain him, just ask and keep my butt and breathing relaxed.  It wouldn't have taken much for him to go over the top which was why I wanted him to stay calm.  The interesting thing I noticed with all this slow hill work was the accentuation of the muscles behind the saddle.  Very impressive.  Now that he's shod I intend to get him much fitter - not endurance fit but enough that we can do some longer rides through the bush which around here means hills.