Balthazar's is Back!

He's back! Last night I had a session *sans* carrots, only working on a few of the 7 games; circling, porcupine, yo yo, and he was great. More importantly, Balthazar was himself. Yes, he had an erection but the difference in his behaviour, in the look in his eye, was extraordinary. I think now why did I struggle for so long with something that wasn't working? Because I wanted to have a true partnership, because I wanted a volunteer not someone who was complying because of pressure. But it wasn't going to happen. Instead I was creating a monster. Perhaps someone like Alexandra Kurland would find their way through the labyrinth and discover the happy cooperation at the end. It finally became obvious that I couldn't. I think I finally realized this when it clicked, no pun intended, that a sweating horse is not a relaxed horse. How could I be so blind?

Balthazar started to sweat while I was grooming him but as he had no carrots, not even when I put a halter on him in the stall, it didn't increase. When he was circling he had an erection but as I asked him to trot and to keep trotting, it behooved him to put it away. But those are minor things, it was his difference in attitude. It was like he'd been away but had come home. We both knew our roles and because it was familiar, maybe not ideal but familiar, he relaxed. I can't stress the difference in attitude enough. I was rusty in my cues and found I had to bite my tonge in an effort to not, quite naturally, say 'Good Boy!' but as that was his bridge cue, I had to either say nothing or use other words.

At the end I removed the halter as his treat and he had a companion walk with me back to the yards. I scratched his ears and his neck which he seemed to enjoy. This morning I kissed/smelled his muzzle before letting him out and he seemed comfortable with that. Previously he'd try to nibble or smell my hands, treat looking.

Looking at it now, it was as though Balthazar was being pulled in two directions. On the one hand, he wanted the carrots, what horse wouldn't? On the other hand, having carrots meant this sexual arousal which while intense, was never satisfied. There was every indication that it was uncomfortable. No wonder he didn't want to be around me. He would nicker and he even trotted over a couple of times but just as often he behaved as though he didn't want to be near me. It will be interesting to see how he reacts to me now that we're doing regular work.

It will also be interesting because I will start riding hin again. Instead of a goal that was so far distant that it was almost unattainable I could be riding him next week. He has to get used to wearing his boots and I have to remove the house spiders which have taken up residence under the saddle flaps but those are minor things. Also have to try his new bitless bridle on him to see if it fits. Other than that and my own trepidation because I haven't ridden in so long, there are no barriers.

I plan to work on one rein stops and one rein riding. I am hopeful that I can incorporate c/t in rest breaks, grazing and scratches, anything other than food. Will have to feel my way. It's like starting all over again. Exciting though.