It's quarter after one in the morning and I can't sleep for thinking of this. Today we had one session. The first thing he did was come over and bite my head. Gnaw more like it. It didn't hurt but it kind of sums up where we are. Which is really pretty much nowhere. I know I need to take me and my desires out of the equation but I seem unable to do that. I want a horse that is happy to be with me - not over his herd mates but is happy enough to hang out. What I've got is a horse that is torn. On the one hand he does want the carrots but having carrots means he is so stressed that he sweats. When I take him to the gate to start grooming he begins to sweat. That is not a relaxed horse. Leaving everything else out of it; poisoned cues, evasions, etc. This is a tense and sweating horse. Drifter used to *drop* but he never became sexually aroused. The other two geldings, I don't think they even drop when I work with them but Balthazar gets so excited he drools, he drips from the end of his penis and he sometimes scares me because I'm the nearest thing moving when he's aroused.
I wonder if I should just give up c/t with him, despite what others on the list say. There have been reports on the list of some animals that it doesn't work with, studies that have been done with all the behavioural accoutrement terms in which the end result does not meet expectations or the results of the other 99 percent.
Looking at this dispassionately it ain't happening. We were in the paddock and he was doing his usual stallion thing, I was giving him breaks, he was more or less mirroring me and he quit. And stayed quit. Finally I leaned down and removed his halter while he was eating. He didn't budge and only moved when I was in the yards. I am confident that if I was working with the other two we would be making progress by leaps and bounds. But not with him and the difference is the stallion arousal. And no respect. I can't believe he leaned over and gnawed my head!
Perhaps treating him like a horse with regular handling is the best option. Give him a carrot as a treat like I'd give any horse as a treat. Use a carrot as I always have as a reward for catching them in the paddock and give him some at the end of a ride or something but otherwise just give it up. We have no bond because our relationship is based on food. Not us as two beings coming together in a working relationship. I have to be boss. That's all there is to it. He has to respect my space and my person.
Balthazar has always been on the bottom of the pecking order. He does the foal chew with neck outstretched and head down when he feels he has to make himself non-threatening to the other horses. But he's always had a chew on their bum when he can get away with it. He did with Drifter, tried to do it with Freya but she kicked him and now he does it with Pagan and Dakota. Is it normal behaviour? I've seen Dakota do it when he was on the bottom but as soon as he had someone beneath him, Pagan, he quit.
so what do we do now? I've got a nice saddle and $400 worth o easy boots waiting for that illusory "invitation to ride" that I held up as a laudable and wonderful goal. I don't see it happening in this lifetime. It seems as though I'm going to have to do Parelli stuff or some version of NH using breaks or a pat on the neck as a reward.
Googled natural horsemanship and found a website of John O'Leary of south Australia. He's a horse trainer and gives Parelli credit for his seven games which everyone should know. He also gives hime credit for getting people started but says he isn't the end all and be all of horse training. He talks about Ray Hunt and Tom Dorrance and others but what really got me on his site was the problem I'm wrestling with now. I want to be buddies with Balthazar at the same time as having his respect. He talks about that, it is possible. A letter was written to Mr. O'Leary. I have quoted some of it below. Mr. O'Leary agrees with the writer 'Jack'. Jack is talking about herd dynamics and the difference between being a Boss and a Leader.
By the trainer acting as a Leader, but being free with praise and grooming for a job well done, has he (or she) become instead a "buddy", a trusted (and respected) companion the horse enjoys being with....Bosses generally only groom when they allow another horse back in the herd, after accepting a sincere and heartfelt apology for violating the rules. And I can't see them going over to a horse and saying "Well done" and giving a little love for behaving.
Is a Leader and Follower the best relationship you can have with a horse? Or is it a Partnership where each listens to the other and the horse happily accepts cues? Where each does his (or her) best for the other? A "mutual admiration society" with mutual trust and respect.
Yes, you need a horse to respect you and your space, and you need to do what is necessary to get it, but do you need to be a Leader? After you have respect do you need to be dominant, or is equal (with veto power) good enough?
I may be able to sleep now. Thinking about what is actually happening in front of me instead of what I want to be happen, it seems to me that c/t is not the way to go with Balthazar. A tense sexually excited horse is not going to learn or even be interested in learning or in being with me. The whole situation is entirely too fraught.
Have to admit I haven't been looking foward to working with Balthazar because of all of the above and especially because of the lack of progress. How many months now? Returning to what I do know with more study (and more observation!) perhaps we'll mkae some progress. He's a good horse. I bought him because of his kind eye. Kindness has not been there for a long time. It hasnn't been a mean evil expressionn either but the look of equine desire is not one I want to see in my companion horse.
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